


War Heroes

by Radiklement



Category: Senjou no Valkyria | Valkyria Chronicles
Genre: Abuse, Borderline Smut, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Idealism, Racism, awkward love, bookworm - Freeform, fluff that will give you cavities, naive Zeri, slow-burn love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 11:33:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11462727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Radiklement/pseuds/Radiklement
Summary: Zeri wanted to become a war hero to redeem the Darcsens in the eyes of the other races. Magari wanted peace to finish her first book, the one where she'd write the truth over their people. He didn't have time for love or friendship and she was too shy for either, but civil war broke out and their military school is first in line to keep their country safe. They form a fragile alliance at the beginning of the schoolyear, unsure of what their real feelings are.





	1. Shoot or die

_In his haste, he lost it,_

_and in his haste, he destroyed it._

_But in the end, **it** still survived._

_..._

_War heroes_

Chapter 1 – Shoot or die

“Alright Zeri, mom is going.”

“Can’t I go with you, mommy?”

It was the same game every time. Once a week, Zeri’s mother had to go out shopping. On each occasion, he would ask her if he could go with her, but she would refused. He was just a small kid back then. But he still remembered pretty clearly how worried she looked when he suggested to accompany her out in the city. They were living in the country side, with other Darcsens people. It was easier that way. But at the same time, whenever they needed something, like food or tools, one of his parents would have to go to the city. And it wasn’t a Darcsen’s city. The people out there despised them, as many Gallians did.

Zeri remembered fighting with another boy at school. The stupid boy was insulting every Darcsen in the class, saying they were monsters, and worse. He hadn’t been able to let him walk off and had tried to force him to take back his mean words. Zeri’s glasses had been broken during the fight and his father had gotten angry at him, not for the glasses, but because a Darcsen never retaliated.

Whenever he saw his mother coming back from the city, with marks of beating, or a cut from something that had been thrown at her, Zeri thought it was unfair. And he vowed to himself that one day, he’d changed this unfairness. He was a human too. His mother didn’t owe to suffer. She was probably the gentlest woman in the whole world. And still, because of her dark blue hair and eyes, she was treated as trash. Sometimes, he wished all the Darcsen’s haters would just die. But hate and revenge would only bring back more hate and more blood. So he tried to play it wise. And not to retaliate. But sometimes, his blood would boil. And even the words from his father wouldn’t be enough. Luckily, now, he was given the permission to fight. As long as he was on the field.

...

“You... you beast! How dare you even address me?!”

Zeri retorted that he had a name, stating it clearly, pretending to ignore the way Juliana talked him back. He hated people like her, thinking they belonged to some elite. But she was a brilliant girl. She could get over her prejudices for his kind. And if she couldn’t, then he’d beat her in the Leviathan’s competition. Standing in the middle of the class, Magari eyed the confrontation between the pink haired girl and her fellow Darcsen.

The Lanseal Academy had accepted only a few members of her kin as students. They were only three of them on the campus and they had all ended up in the same class. Mischlitt was barely talking to anyone, Magari herself was too scared to get involved with too many people and Zeri... Well, Zeri was proud and nothing seemed to shake him off. Magari often found herself observing him from over one of her books. She tried to keep reading, or to listen to her friend Rene, but the tall teenager, with his dark blue eyes shining behind his rectangular glasses, was really appealing. He never retaliated, as the precepts of their kind taught, but he never accepted being mistreated either.

Magari admired his strength and courage. He was intelligent too and he rarely got mad. A perfect Darcsen, one that should never be despised. And still, as if his dark blue hair and eyes were branding him as a monster, he was still despised. It was so unfair...

“Pfff, you’ve been refused of your last name, so that’s all you got and you think it will surprise me, an elite?!”

“Oh, you...!”

The blond and sweet Cosette got mad at this and raised one hand and before that anyone could have seen it coming, she had slapped Juliana’s face with all her strength. The elite girl backed away, grabbing her throbbing cheek with one hand, surprised beyond words. She seemed unable to find anything to say and most of the students from Class G were looking up with sheer stupefaction. Had Cosette really slapped Juliana? Avan was gapping and even Zeri looked surprised. Magari felt a shy smile creeping on her lips. The fire of satisfaction was burning in her chest. She would never have the strength to fight back with this girl, but to see her shocked and put back in her place was too good to be true. At the same time, she was ashamed with herself. She looked down in her book, trying to find word to express the feeling. Her pen ran on the white paper.

_Darcsens haters are rarely being bullied or put back in their place, since our people never retaliates. We don’t usually have friends amongst the other races. And we don’t want them to defend us, because they could get hurt. Racial conflicts are often the most violent. This civil war has started because of us, again. Since the archduchess showed everybody her face and admitted she wasn’t a Valkyrur, but a Darcsen... The rebels talk about purging us. We’re a taint to their noble Gallia. But why? Why do we still scare them, when the things we supposedly did in the past were thousands of years ago?_

_Why can’t they understand that **they** scare us now?_

Her hand hesitated and she jumped a little as she heard Juliana walking out of the classroom and closing the door with all of her strength. Rene winked at her, to give her courage and she smiled in return. The red haired girl was always enthusiast in everything. She was like Magari’s link to the outside world. The rest of the time, when she didn’t talk with Rene or answered to teachers’ questions, Magari was off in her books. Reading over everything from the world, because discovering it in person hurt too much and because the books always told her the truth, without judging her. Except from that, all she did was to write in her own book, over her people. She wanted to find some proof to clean the Darcsens’ name from the supposed calamity which had happened centuries ago.

Magari fought during the missions too, and she tried to exercise herself to keep up with the others. She was an engineer and mainly focused herself on healing people amongst their squad. She was doing okay with guns, but she’d rather fix up her comrades. It wasn’t always easy, since she was a Darcsen. Some of them refused to get healed by her. But there was Cosette and Rene, who didn’t care for races and dark hair; and Avan, who was just the same. She was glad that he’d become the class chair. He was a funny guy, and really nice too. Maybe a little too enthusiast for her. He often yelled, even in the library, and since the library was her sanctuary, she didn’t like his disturbances. But the rest of the time, she liked having him around. Even if she never talked to him or looked up from her books. Her ears were still open and she still followed what was going on around.

People had made her jump too often when she was reading, so she was trying to stay connected. It helped to have Rene around.

“Cosette was awesome, wasn’t she?” her friend asked her.

Magari nodded, her frail smile growing wider.

Zeri too owed to be defended. She forced herself not to look at him. It was hard to get her eyes off him when he came into her sight. He was the only Darcsen guy around. And she had to admit, she kinda liked him. Even if they had barely ever talked to each other. She wasn’t really known as a talkative type of girl...

“I don’t know what happened to me, my hand just moved on its own.”

“You really don’t have any impulse control, do you?” Avan sighed as Cosette was already thinking about running after Juliana to apologize for her rudeness.

Zeri shook his head. Whatever he claimed, he seemed to be getting along with these two. They made quite a trio. Magari had guessed it was because they had all arrived together this year. Of course, they’d stick together. It was just like her and Rene.

...

“This mission’s objective is to wipe out every enemy soldier.”

All lined up in their war uniforms; the cadets were listening to Brixham, their main instructor. His light brown hair as fuzzy as usual, hiding his right eye, was shining under the light of the classroom. Magari was holding a book to her chest, unwilling to part from it. Maybe that Avan would choose someone else to go on that mission. She wasn’t cut out for wiping out enemy. But if something happened to any of her friends? What if Rene never came back from this mission, because Magari wouldn’t have been there to fix her up if some enemy soldiers shot at her?

Standing next to Avan, Zeri was starting to wonder if the idea of a war academy was really that good. It was convenient for the country, but the strains it brought on the cadets were terrible. Everybody around him was at risk to die. And their class, Squad G, wasn’t known to be the best at the academy. In fact, they were the worst bunch of soldiers ever gathered in Lanseal’s history. Brixham had never worried about their pride enough and was reminding them of their lack in discipline and will quite often.

“You can take up to six soldiers, Avan. Who will go out there?”

“Mmmmh.”

As the class chair, Avan, a boy who had marked well on the physical exam but sucked at everything else in school, was the closest thing they had to a leader. He was like their Welkin Gunther. Except that he was clueless in strategy. Luckily, he had a good and strong heart and he was ready to put everything he had in every mission.

Scratching the back of his crimson hair, he looked at his comrades.

“It will be me, Zeri, Rene, Magari, Joachim and Franca. If we need any reinforcement, I hope I can be counting on you guys,” he said to the people left behind.

“We’ll be ready!” Cosette replied with a cheerful smile.

The whole class moved out, to get in their main camp.

The ground was covered with snow and it cracked under their boots as they ran through the fields. Magari was reminded of her home. Exchanging a brief look with Rene, she realized her friend was lost in her thoughts, carrying her heavy lance on her shoulder.

“Something’s on your mind, Rene?” she gently asked.

Her voice was so small, the others barely heard it.

“Hmmm? Oh, no, it’s alright. I’m just wondering. Avan is often taking lancer to start mission, in case a tank show up. But whenever he realizes there’s no tank, he sends us back and calls someone else. Sometimes, I wished I could carry a gun with this lance.”

Rene wanted to help everybody around her so much, it was hard for her to be sent back to camp. Even if she knew that her munitions were precious and that she was better against tanks than other soldiers. She wanted to prove herself. She still looked quite boyish, poor Rene. Guys were often mocking her for it back at school, so she tried to show off with all the skills she had instead of looks. If her hair wasn’t that short, it would help her, but Magari knew better than tell her what to do about that.

“I’d rather not carry any gun myself.” Magari sighed.

“Don’t go getting yourself hurt because you’re scared to fire on people.”

“I won’t, don’t worry about me.”

...

As he walked next to Avan, Zeri kept an eye on their comrades. Magari looked as secretive and discreet as usual. She was talking with Rene. On the other side, Franca looked all strict and serious, as always –your typical female soldier- and Joachim was talking about how unlucky he was. Zeri sighed mentally. Why did Avan chose these people, between all their classmates? They were all filled with problem of self-esteem or mental disorder, or worse. Maybe was he over exaggerating a bit, but still, they had problems. How could they focus on their mission when they were so... childish?

He wondered what were their reasons to fight. Not that it mattered. As long as he survived and managed to become a Darcsen hero to show other that Darcsens weren’t just troublemaker.

 _We never hurt anyone in the first place. We never did anything wrong, and still,_ I _have to prove myself..._

Zeri hated to admit it, but he had some problems too.

...

Crouching behind a sandbag line, Zeri was holding down his breath, his machine gun held ready. Avan had let him lead half of their group and had gone to the other side of the battlefield. They had called little reinforcement. It was part of the school’s politics to always deploy a restricted number of students. It was to hide the true capacities of Lanseal’s squads. Zeri wasn’t too agreed with it, but he would be the last one to complain about it. If he accepted the rules, he could stay at the school. Even if he had been recruited, the fact he was a Darcsen was against him.

Anyway, he hadn’t time to think about that. As the enemies’ fires died down, he got up and started to run. It was already dark and people were mere shadows running around the field. Some soldiers slipped on the snow here and there. Zeri stopped and shot down one of them, identifying the red uniforms. Blue meant Lanseal. Friendly fire and cover up. Red meant death, hate and blood.

Zeri felt dizzy for a short instance. There had been no lesson to warn them about how it feels to see your target drop death in front of you. Some other students saw it as a game. And sometimes, he himself was glad to win. Always in fact. But today, it felt different. Despite everything he could tell himself, a few words were still running in his head. Juliana hadn’t been too kind in her disgust for his kind.

_You beast!_

That was the first time he heard such an insult. And wasn’t he a beast to kill like that? Man, this was war, he hadn’t time to worry over ethics. But Darcsens never retaliate. It was their greatest pride. Did fighting against attacking soldiers mean that he was retaliating? Why shouldn’t he, after all that his people had suffered? After all that the Gallians had done to his family, hadn’t he any right for some little kind of vengeance? Was it really wrong to pull the trigger of his gun and to feel good about it? He was just being efficient. He was just doing his job! He was just trying to survive!

He was thinking too much. He focused on his running and on dodging enemies’ fire. His heart was beating so fast. His breathing was steady, but the tension in his body was still rising. Death could be waiting at any mistake. He dived to the ground as he came face to face with an enemy camp. It was just too dark in here. Avan should have deployed their tank. But it was still early and the Zakka wasn’t rightly developed. Zeri cursed under his breath as Rebel’s rounds went right above his head. He had spotted every enemy. The tank, the shock trooper and the two scouts. He couldn’t take on all that by himself. Fortunately, he had suggested that Magari and Rene, which had been put with him, followed him as he charged in. And Rene was just around the corner.

He heard her yell as she shot at the tank. He covered his head with one arm, as it blew up. As soon as debris stopped from falling around, he stood up and fired. Next thing he knew, the camp was filled with corpses. Walking past them, Magari switched the camp’s flag for their academy’s insignia.

“One more down,” he thought out loud.

“Is everyone okay?” the small Darcsen asked.

Her dark hair tied on each side of her head was filled with snow and dirt and she looked tired but determined. Zeri looked away.

“I’m fine.” He whispered.

As he looked at the sky, he spotted the four other blue flags. That made five bases taken. If any rebel was left, there couldn’t be too many of them. They wouldn’t have any reinforcements now.

Their new camp was sitting behind a large wooden house. There was only one access to it, but a small path was turning around icy rocks.

“Let’s look around to make sure none of them are hiding.” He suggested.

Rene nodded and went down the small path, followed closely by Magari, who was worried about her friend, since she couldn’t fire as fast as most of the soldier with her anti-tank lance. In the end, it seemed that no one was left from the Rebel’s squads.

“That’s another mission over.” Zeri thought to himself.

He was relieved. But his goal was still far ahead. He sighed. Their squad still had a long way to go.

...

_As I fight next to my comrades, I try to forget that I’m killing people. It’s scary but this is war. We’re all fighting for the same reason, whichever race or traits we wear. I want to see this country at peace. I’ve survived one war already and I want to protect what’s left of my family. We’ve been hurt too many times because of what we were. But with these hands, I may heal and protect people, as long as I breathe. And I will do my part. I’ll amend myself for our ancestors’ mistakes. Even if their mistake was choosing to live here in Gallia._

...

To be continued


	2. Racism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Zeri and Magari gets their "welcome to Lanseal" ceremony...

_In his haste, he lost it,_

_and in his haste, he destroyed it._

_But in the end, **it** still survived._

_..._

_War heroes_

Chapter 2 – Racism

“Run maggots! I know you can do better than that!”

It was Class G’s turn to do drills. Avan and Zeri were running their thirtieth lap while the frailer students were just getting to the twenty-fifth lap. Joachim was sprawled in the middle of the training grounds, holding his leg, saying how unlucky he was to have twisted his ankle.

“I bet he’s alright.” Rene told Magari, to make her smile even though the strain in their muscles was getting pretty painful.

The small Darcsen always had trouble keeping up. The fact she carried ammunitions for every other soldiers plus her healing kit and the repair kit for tank didn’t help. But engineers were key soldiers. Except for Raymond, who was built as a tank, most of them were small and light. At least, in their squad, it was like that.

“Alright, enough running. Get down in the mud, kids. I want a hundred push-ups, each of you, get on it! Faster than that.”

Gonzales kicked Joachim so that he’d get back to his training. After ten push-ups, most of the girls weren’t able to keep it up, especially since all the running they had done. But their trainer was far from over. An hour later, when they finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel, Magari thought she could die from exhaustion. Even though she ate healthily to be packed with energy, those drills were much harder than any mission she had ever been involved in.

As they stepped in the locker-room, they were all covered with mud and damp snow. Magari sighed as she let herself fall on one bench. She barely had any strength left to get out from her uniform and step into a shower.

Franca was already clean and getting into her school uniforms when she managed to get back up.

“He was really into it, today, wasn’t he?” Lotte observed.

As the journal-freak of their class, Lotte often asked question to her classmate but she rarely waited for any answer.

“Maybe is something wrong with our drill instructor. Maybe he wants to kill one or two students by overworking them. I can see the headlines from here!”

Some of the girls looked scared, but Coleen, the prettiest among the class, laughed and gently objected to bring back the calm. Despite whatever other classes’ members said, Class G had a good chemistry to it. The students just needed to be pushed forward to show what they had in their heart.

...

_Today we had drills. It was really hard, but we eventually got through. And something worse happened later on, which made the drills look pretty easy. At dinner, the others joked around at the cafeteria. Rene made sure everybody eat well and Randy seemed to be touched by her maternal nature. It’s no surprise she’s my best friend, she’s the nicest girl around. I wish I was more outgoing like her._

...

Magari was still reading even at the cafeteria when Juliana showed up and stopped right by Class G’s table. Usually students from different classes would mix and exchange together, but Classs G was an exception. They were eyed suspiciously. Juliana crossed her arms over her busty chest, smiling.

“I heard you didn’t do too well at drills this morning.” She said. “It’s no surprise, really.”

“It’s nice to worry about us, Juliana,” Zeri replied with a firm voice.

He seemed to find her bickering attitude pretty annoying and Magari shared his opinion. Didn’t this girl from the elite have anything else to do then to walk around and parade in front of the people she despised?

“Hey, Juliana, about... about that morning...!” Cosette started to say, getting up.

She clearly wanted to apologize, but Juliana seemed to remember the slap from the other day and raised her head sufficiently before to walk away. Cosette sighed and let herself fall back on her chair. Avan patted her on the shoulder.

“You’d be too nice if you apologized right away.” He told her.

“Anyway, one should always assume its actions. If you can’t face the consequences, you should think before you act.” Alexi said.

Magari looked up to stare at him. His dashing face was as perturbing as ever. She never knew what to think of him. He looked so androgynous sometimes... As her gaze moved to go back to her book, she froze an instant, her eyes coming in contact with Zeri. He was fighting with Avan, since the red haired guy had tried to steal his steak from him.

There was something fierce in his face, but it was also gentle, somehow. Magari understood that this fight was some kind of game. She spaced out for a moment, before to be brought back to reality by Rene’s elbow poking her ribs.

“You’re staring.” Her friend warned her.

Flushing, the young girl looked down at her book, pouting.

“I wasn’t,” she protested.

“It’s okay to like Darcsen’s guys. Zeri’s cool. I bet he’d find you cute if you tried to talk to him.”

Magari felt her stomach filling itself with butterflies at the very idea.

“You’re imagining things, Rene.” She retorted, making herself as small as possible, trying not to draw anyone’s attention.

“Most guys in the school think that you’re beautiful, Magari, you should try being more confident in yourself.” Coleen observed.

Blushing this time, the small Darcsen focused on her book, though her eyes were unable to make out any letter on the paper.

 _They think I’d go out with them just ‘cause I’m a darcsen, a pretty thing that they’d throw away after they get what they want. They just want to make fun of me_ , she sadly thought.

“I don’t get romance!” Mischlitt sighed.

The three girls sitting next to her looked up, surprised, but they realized that the genius from their class was studying once again one of her romance novels. Coleen smiled at that.

“It’s not something that you understand, Mischlitt, it’s something that you feel.”

“Oh, I didn’t ask for your opinion!” she retorted, replacing her glasses before her eyes in a very cold way.

It was a bad habit she had, poor Mischlitt. Always hiding behind her glasses and trying to keep people away from her.

“Say Rene, I saw you talking with Randy a moment ago.” Magari whispered to change the subject.

“Oh, that. He asked me about the organization of a class party we could have to celebrate the new year. He thinks I could help the class committee with the organization.”

“It sounds nice,” Noel smiled.”When should this class party take place? Did he tell you? Will you join the committee?”

“Huh, I don’t know if I’m really cut out for this.” Rene replied to the other lancer girl.

“You’re always looking out for everyone Rene, you’re surely the best to do it.” Coleen observed.

“And Randy seemed to like you. He’s staring at us right now, you know.” Noel added.

Magari was glad from the diversion and happy to see Rene blushing from a mix of shyness and pleasure. If the guys liked her, they rarely appreciated Rene’s looks. She was anything but delicate. Then again, Magari wished sometimes that she was more like that. Strong, bold and ready to help everyone without shying away when too many people were around. She hated her stage fright.

...

The rest of the day had gone pretty alright. The few classes were nothing like the drills and Magari was alone in the lab to finish her clean-up duty when she heard some students yelling at each other.

Since petty quarrels happened often around the school, she paid no mind to it, until the yells became stronger and clearer. She dropped a glass pipe on the floor as she heard: “You stupid Darcsen!”

There was a loud bang on the doors and suddenly, she was taken years back in the past. Her heart skipped a beat. Then the doors of the lab swung opened and three guys rushed to her, all students from other classes, all bearing hatred in their eyes. Like in her worst nightmare. Before that she knew it, she was their prisoner. She couldn’t fight back. She couldn’t move. Her voice was stuck in her throat. And she hated herself once more for being weak.

...

Zeri had been taken by surprise. He was training around the drill grounds when a shot rang in the air. He fell to the ground as the bullet hit his flesh. The pain was real and as he tried to get up, he fall back to the dirt. His consciousness faded an instant. Then he felt hands falling on his shoulders and forcing him up.

Next thing he knew, a guy from class A was looking down at him.

“So, darcsen, it seems there’s a lot of you around the campus. Did you receive a note about the welcoming party there was for your kind this year?”

Zeri clenched his teeth. He had expected to get weird looks and bad words, but a bullet in the chest?!

“Make sure he don’t collapse or faint. I want him conscious when we’ll meet up with the girls.”

The students laughed meanly and dragged him out of the training grounds and into the woods next to the school ground. Zeri tried to resist of course, but two kicks in the guts plus the pain to his chest were too much to keep up.

He walked, hiding in his head not to hear the guys talking harshly of his race, and of his mom and father, and of the other Darcsen around the campus. As they reached the woods, he saw another little group dragging a dark haired-girl in their direction. He recognized Magari and felt his heart tightening in his chest.

 _Why her too? She’s been in this school for a year already_ , he thought.

But maybe the students bullying them were new. But why would they go that far? It was dangerous to use weapons against people. They were all considered as human beings here, despite their race and it was highly prohibited to fire on another student when it wasn’t for training. And even more when the rounds weren’t training rounds...

“Let go of me!” Magari complained, trying to fight back.

They were pulling on her hair, kicking her around and easily avoiding her attacks. She looked really scared and Zeri wished he could do something for her. Their bullies tied him to a tree, making sure he couldn’t move or defend himself. He heard a yelp of pain to his right and looked around to see that Mischlitt had already been tied to her own tree.

Seeing from the bruises on her face, she had been brought there in first. She was biting her tongue not to yell as the students kicked her and slapped her in the face. Her glasses had already fallen to the ground and Zeri felt the burn of cold steel on his temples, freezing the fresh blood on his face.

“You three always act as if you’re better than us. We thought we’d remind you of your place, you dark hairs.”

Zeri tried to get out from his ties, only to get another kick in the stomach, which abruptly cut his breathing, leaving him gasping for air.

“You always reject us when we ask your beast of a friend if you wanna go out with us, you little sluth!”

“Rene isn’t a...! Mmmmpf!”

They buried Magari’s face in the snow, laughing harder and Zeri felt his anger reaching its peak. These morons really thought they were cool, taking advantage of a defenceless girl? And what were their reasons? Petty egos and arrogance because they couldn’t accept to be refused?

 _Of course, she would refuse. What could those racists want from her if they don’t even respect us?_ Zeri thought.

And once more, he was reminded of his poor mom, who had been mistreated for far less than that.

“Why would you refuse such a favor, that us, members of the elite, dare to take a look at you, huh, you bitch?!”

They were holding her throat in their hands, shaking her around, almost strangling the poor Magari in their rage. And she was shaking so much, trying to mutter some response to their hateful words, trying to hold her ground to no avail. Zeri shifted his arms and hands, trying to free himself with even more rage, so that he could have a chance to do something, anything!

“Show us what you were hiding, huh what do you have that’s so precious, you can look up on us!?” the guys said, fumbling through the young girl’s clothes.

Zeri understood at this point that his own torture was to watch, helplessly. He managed to free one of his hands, only to be punched in the guts another time. His ribs were asking for mercy and his wound was still bleeding, making him weaker.

But he refused to admit defeat. Magari was fighting more fiercely now, biting and clawing at them. Still, they managed to undo a few buttons of her blouse and slipped one hand underneath it, despite her yells of protestation. At this very moment, when everything seemed lost, a new face stepped in. Juliana had been running, since it was already dark outside.

“What... What are you doing?!”

The scene looked awful, with an unconscious Mischlitt, hanging to the ropes tying her to the tree, Zeri clearly beaten up and Magari... Magari being manhandled beyond any words. Juliana’s face lost all color. She had been looking for her squad’s members, but she wasn’t expecting something like that.

The students stopped and looked around them, as if an answer could pop out from the snow.

“We... we wanted to teach those beasts a lesson.” One of them blurted out.

“You’re acting like beasts yourself! Have you all become insane! Untie them! Let go of that girl.”

Zeri was a little surprised and he fell to his knees as the ropes tying him got loose. He looked up to Juliana, whose face was turning bright red from shame. She wouldn’t go that far, even if she despised them.

“You didn’t use guns against them, did you?”

“It... it was supposed to be a training round in that gun. We just wanted to stun him.” One guy shyly objected.

But the scarlet blood on the snow was telling a different story. Juliana shook her head.

“This... This shall never happen again, you hear me dark hair? Nothing has happened, there must have been something in our food tonight... Just forget about this. If I learn that you’ve talked about this to anyone, worse could happen!”

Juliana’s voice was shaking as she said that, especially when she met Magari’s dark eyes. The poor girl was keeping her half-unbuttoned shirt closed over her body and was shivering on the cold ground. Zeri wondered why the school’s uniforms for girls forced them to wear such a short skirt at this time of the year. He glared at Juliana, unable to feel any gratitude towards her.

“We’re leaving, class A. As for the others, you’d better get back to your squad!”, she ordered.

Turning around, she walked off, refusing to offer help to the despised Darcsens. Zeri raised himself up, slowly before to feel a small body rushing into his arms. It was Magari, shaking at new now that no one was looking. Sobs were held down in her throat and made her shake even more. Zeri felt ashamed, to think he hadn’t been able to protect his own kind. He held her in his arms, a strange mix of anger and pain in his heart.

He wanted to calm her down, but he was so hurt himself, it was hard thinking of words that could comfort her.

“Magari...” he sighed, unable to find anything more.

From afar, Juliana looked back and she saw the two Darcsens, wounded, clutching to each other, shaking and shaken, but still wearing their scarf with pride, still Darcsen. Zeri felt her gaze and looked up to meet it with a glare. And despite the hurt, the mud and the sweat, she saw his pride and his anger. And for the first time in her life, she felt his judgement and hate, real hate for the petty feelings she held against his race. It was insulting!

But she felt small and alone as he held Magari more closely, as if to protect the girl from any more harm. Juliana could see his unwavering will at this moment. And she realized how strong he had to be. She was the first to look away and she felt weak as the urge to run back to her room came to her. She was scared by the Darcsens and it was right that their kind never brought anything but trouble. But did that mean they had to treat their descendants like that? Did their only legacy was really the misdoing of their ancestors?

...

“Magari, we can’t stay here.”

She nodded, her hair brushing against his face. She smelled good and it was soft after everything they’d been through. He hugged her for a long moment, trying to gather his strength. Her hand fell on his wound.

“Can you get up?” she asked, when her voice was steady enough to be trusted.

It was such a small and sweet sound. Not obnoxious like Juliana’s. A bitter smile lighted his face.

“I can. I’ll just need help to carry Mischlitt back to the infirmary.”

It wasn’t easy, but they combined their strength to put the unconscious girl on Zeri’s back. Then, they started walking back.

...

_The worst from this day must have been when those students attacked us. They took all three of us, Zeri, Mischlitt and I to the woods. They beated up Zeri and toyed around with us girls. Only ‘cause we’re Darcsens. I knew my sister lived something terrible when she died. I knew the other students didn’t like us, but still..._

_Why do they believe this Civil war is our fault? It’s because people hate Darcsen that we’re at war. We haven’t done anything, so how can it be our fault? Is being passive a crime? Isn’t it the one carrying prejudices in their heart that should be considered guilty? Why do we need to find someone at fault?_

_Fighting among ourselves won’t help us. I don’t know how I can trust others right now. It scares me to walk around the campus alone. I’ll have to stick with Rene. The only good thing in all of this is that none of our own classmate attacked us. I don’t know how I could fight alongside with someone who tried to... My hands are shaking when I think about it. Oh lord, my poor sister who went through worse. I hope you’re at peace now. I sure hope that you are safe and happy now, wherever you are._

To be continued...


	3. Still standing

_In his haste, he lost it,_

_and in his haste, he destroyed it._

_But in the end, **it** still survived._

_..._

_War heroes_

Chapter 3 – Still standing

It was late in the morning when they reached the infirmary. After checking on Mischlitt to make sure she wasn’t too hurt and could wait for first aid, Magari took care of Zeri’s wounds. She hadn’t taken the time to put some order back in her clothes. Her shirt was still half unbuttoned and there were marks on her throat where the fingers of the students had touched her. Zeri remembered seeing his mom like that and how she tried to hide it from his father. He’d helped her some times...

Right now, Magari was still too shaken from what had happened to take care of herself. If she looked down at herself, she was sure she would start to cry. And she wanted to stay strong in front of him.

”It’s gonna burn,” she warned him.

She had to disinfect his wound before using ragnite on his wound. He winced, but endured the pain. There was so much on his mind, it was kinda easy. He was worried about Magari. Wasn’t sure of what he should tell her. He was sitting on one bed, wearing nothing but his pants and boots. His glasses were waiting on the cupboard, still stained with dirt and blood.

“Alright, it’s all cleaned up. I’m gonna get you patched up, then I’ll take care of your brow.”

She used the ragnite and soon, the small hole in his chest was nothing but a memory. Her hands lingered on his torso for a moment, as if she wasn’t thinking too much of what she was doing.

“Why does this keep on happening?” she suddenly asked. “Why do they hate us this much?”

He was surprised that she’d ask, she was bound to know the reason why.

“For the same reason this country is at war.”

“There’s no reason. The past should stay the past. We don’t act more rashly then them. We... None of us from this generation has done something against Europa. And still, we’re hated everywhere we go.”

Zeri knew all that better than anyone, and still, it was hard hearing it again from her. Why did they have to pay for things their ancestors had done?

“One day, things will change.” He said.

She looked up, surprised and he gave her an encouraging smirk. He was looking good, even without his glasses.

“I wished I could see this day. But it’s hard to change people.”

She grabbed a kerchief and cleaned his face from the blood. Zeri had already been treated by engineers from the class, but Magari’s touch felt different. Maybe because she really understood him, cause she was the same race. He felt his heart melting and butterflies in his stomach and his throat tightening. The fact she could understand him was also scary. He had rarely talked to her before, he knew she was a very closed off girl. She used to have this book with her all the time.

Right now, she was keeping on arm clung to her chest, as if she wanted to hide, and she treated him with just one hand. And still, she was precise and gentle in her job. He blinked.

“I’m better now. Why don’t you take care of yourself?”

“I’m alright.” She immediately retorted.

“Nonsense. You’re shaking Magari.”

He grabbed her arm and removed it from her chest to start buttoning up her shirt. She froze on place, blushing at his gesture, but she didn’t pull away. Zeri wasn’t sure where he’d find the nerve to do that, but he gently replaced the darcsen fabric in her hair, before to let go of her and back away a little.

“It’s better like that.” He observed, his voice low and shy suddenly.

“Thanks.” Was all she could blurt out.

Then she got up to treat Mischlitt, to have a chance to regain her countenance. He put on a new shirt in the time being and started cleaning his glasses. He could have left right now, but he didn’t want to. He felt that Magari needed help, even if she was feeling uneasy with him around.

He had to be of some help now, since he hadn’t been able to protect her earlier. So he waited in silence, remembering the past. Remembering every time he was hurt because of his hair and eyes. Remembering the look in Juliana’s eyes and the feeling of holding Magari in his arms. His heart had beaten so fast!

 _I don’t have time for this! Whatever it is. Stay rational, Zeri!_ He tried to convince himself.

But she needed him. Or at least, he wanted to be of help. They were pariahs. Misjudged. They could both look beyond that. And as she got done treating Mischlitt and looked in his direction, their eyes met. And if everyone else would say that Darcsens all looked alike, they could see differences. She was pale and her wavy hair was soft to the touch. She often looked surprised, or scared, because she was hiding too much. He liked her eyes. Her frail stature. Most guys had to be interested by the impression she gave of needing to be protected. Every man wanted to be of use. And still, she felt strong in her fragility.

When Juliana had shown up, she hadn’t trembled. She had kept everything inside, proudly. Like most Darcsens were.

“Are you staying here for the night?” she asked.

“Hmmm. I guess it would be better. If any of those stupid guys shows up again, I won’t let them hurt any of you.”

“It’s not the first time it happened, you know. At each new year, new students arrives... It’s sure that they rarely gang up on us, but...”

Her voice died down in her throat. The last thing she wanted to think about was what had happened in the wood. She shivered, feeling their cold hands on her skin in her memories. She grabbed her throat with her hands, where the marks still burned.

Zeri got up and walked up to her, pinching his lips nervously. Was there something that he could say to calm her down? He reached one hand out and she backed away, scared even by him. His heart ached at the sight of her fear.

“It’s okay to be hurt and frightened. Even if it wasn’t the first time something like this happened.”

His voice was firm, but trembled a little in his throat. There was so much anger held back within him. Anger for the misdeeds done and anger towards himself for not being able to protect his own kind.

“Oh Zeri... Don’t try cheering me up. All those guys that were looking at me. I can still feel their eyes. Their hands...”

She wrapped her arms around herself, as if it could hide her from these awful memories, but it didn’t work. And she started to shake anew.

It hurt so much to see her like this. His heart and his mind were both crying out for revenge. He acted without thinking, opening his arms and forcing her in a hug, so that he wouldn’t see her teary eyes anymore. At first, she tried to make herself as small as possible, as if she wanted to escape him. Sobs claimed her at new and he let her lay her head in the hollow of his shoulder as she gave up on appearances and leaned on him.

“Forget them, Magari. Don’t let them hunt you down. You’re safe now.”

“I know.”

It wasn’t every Darcsens that supported each other, but Zeri was one of them. And Magari had known it from the first time she’d lay eyes on him.

“I just wished you hadn’t seen me like that back there.”

“If one of us should feel ashamed here, it’s me, Magari.”

And she realized that he was ashamed.

“They didn’t give you any chance. You can’t hold a grudge against yourself. The ones at fault are those guys who attacked us. We didn’t retaliate,” she argued.

“Don’t you say that word,” he acidly retorted.

And she felt his arms trembling slightly around her. Because how he hated this awful situation! How he hated to be trapped in the position of the prey which let the tiger bite, waiting for the hunter to get tired of his hunt.

She looked for something else to say, but nothing was fitting enough.

“Zeri, they had... You mustn’t apologize.”

“I know that. I’m not making excuses either.”

Her shaking died down, but it still took some time for Magari to realize he was still holding her and that they were actually talking together, as if they knew each other. But all she knew was that he was a Darcsen. And though that was a lot, it wasn’t nearly enough.

“I...” she blushed from the closeness.

Oh the other end, he wasn’t able to understand her sudden stiffness. He felt so certain that this was his mother in his arms. And he wanted to apologize. Luckily, she reminded him of where they were before that he made a fool of himself.

“I think I should check on Mischlitt. She has been unconscious for quite some time now. Her injuries didn’t look serious, but she could have a commotion or something.”

Zeri understood and let go of the young girl, clearing his throat as he tried to hide his blush. His arms felt so empty as she walked away.

 _What’s up with me?_ He thought. _Why do I feel so fond of her suddenly? She’s cute and she’s a Darcsen, and she’s bright, I guess. But I don’t have time for some highschool romance!_

As he thought that, he looked at Magari, who was carefully checking upon Mischlitt. Her frame was smaller than average and she looked delicate as a flower. She got scared at anything, but he remembered how she fought the guys attacking her.

She had will in her petite body. Will and strength and convictions. And the way he’d held her in his arms. The way it had felt...

“Oh, she’s waking up! Mischlitt? How are you feeling?”

The young girl didn’t answer. She blinked at first. Then she remembered what had brought her here and seemed to become someone else. Shrieking with fear, she tried to push Magari away, kicking and punching the small Darcsen trying to take care of her.

“Stay back! Get away from me!”

Zeri was surprised to see the cold Mischlitt acting so out of character suddenly. But he was really shocked when Magari was thrown back, her left cheek bleeding from the other girl struggle. They couldn’t jump at each other throats now. They had to stick together.

“Mischlitt, have you lost your mind?!”

He went ahead and tried to restrain her, to prevent her from assaulting Magari anymore. As soon as he got closer to her, Mischlitt’s shrieks got stronger. She panicked and kicked even more.

“Don’t!” was all she could mutter through her panicked hiccups and shrieks.

Zeri froze, realizing what she could be thinking. After all that had happened, she couldn’t recognize her own kind. All that she knew was that he was a man and that meant danger in her eyes.

He had no way of knowing what those stupid guys had done to her before that they joined them in the wood. But he suddenly had doubts. He took a step back, hurt in his pride and even more in his heart. He would never think of hurting a woman in such a fashion. Magari went back to Mischlitt’s side and gave him an apologetic look.

“I think you’d better get out for now, Zeri.”

He nodded, like a zombie. Mischlitt’s yells were reminding him of the way Magari had fought and yelled between those guys’ hands. And he was still helpless. As he walked out of the room and closed the door, on which he leaned, his legs too weak to keep him standing straight, he realized that being a war hero wouldn’t change everything. And he still had a long way to go.

Zeri stayed with his back to the door for a long moment, waiting for time to pass. Mischlitt’s yells eventually died down. They were replaced by tears and for a moment, he wondered if his own mother had ever been mistreated in such a way. He certainly hoped not. Then, he heard footsteps in the hallway and since his face was far too open, he looked up to the ceiling, forcing his pain to silence. That meant no shaking. Not even a whisper.

Unfortunately, the footsteps belonged to someone he knew. Cosette stopped a few steps away from him, wearing a bathrobe over her nightgown.

“Zeri? What are you doing here?”.

He looked down at her, blinking and feeling dumb. Fortunately, the door opened in his back and he moved aside to let Magari come out.

“It’s okay, she’s calmed down now,” the frail girl whispered. “She was slightly trauma...”

She stopped as she saw Cosette standing across the hallway.

“Magari? What’s going on? Who’s in there?” the blond girl asked, pointing at the infirmary’s door.

“Hum...” Magari looked at Zeri first, at a loss of word and she was surprised to see that he was just as shocked as her. He cleared his throat, not trusting his voice.

“We... we had some troubles and Mischlitt got wounded. I helped carrying her back.”

Zeri had not finished saying it that he was mad at himself for not telling the truth. He almost felt as if he was protecting their attackers. But he could tell that Magari didn’t want anyone to know. Or well, she didn’t want to be reminded of what happened right now.

Cosette frowned quizzically.

“You don’t usually regroup together,” she observed.

Zeri cursed inwardly and Magari quivered, stuttering nonsense.

“I’ll be frank Cosette, we’d rather not talk about it right now.” He sighed.

“Okay... Well, I wanted to get some pills for headaches, I’ve run out of mine and I can’t sleep after reading all the books for tomorrow’s exam.” Cosette explained.

She motioned toward the infirmary room, but Magari stopped her.

“I’ll get it for you, Cosette, just... give me a minute.”

She slipped right back in the room, leaving Zeri alone to face their classmate’s questioning eyes. He didn’t resist long.

“We were attacked by some other students since we’re Darcsens. They shot me and molested the girls to have their sick fun. I know how this sounds, but I’d rather keep this a secret for the girls’ sake.”

Cosette’s eyes widened while her face went paler. She tried to say something, but couldn’t find her voice for a while.

“You were shot?!” she repeated with disbelief.

“Magari has treated me, I’m fine now.”

“Okay, but... you cannot just let this happen and act as if nothing...”

“We’re Darscens, Cosette. We talk when there’s room for talking and understanding, but we do not retaliate.”

Magari came back just then and gave the pills to Cosette, hiding her face behind her two pig tails.

With a brief thank you, the blond engineer took off, but not before to ask them to take care. They silently agreed and waited in silence until their classmate had walked out of their sight. Zeri then looked down at Magari, unsure of what he was supposed to do about the current situation. The young girl was nervously toying with her hair.

“Ma...”

“I’d better stay here for the rest of the night.” She whispered. “Mischlitt could wake up alone, and she’d better not be alone if she does...”

He sighed.

“Want me to stay to give you some protection, just in case?”

She nodded, blushing slightly and barely looking at him. She looked so stressed out. Maybe was Juliana’s stupid threat still hunting her? Maybe was it Mischlitt’s crisis? Or just every part of this mess they were in. He gave her time to calm down before to follow her in the infirmary room.

“Are you okay?” he dared to ask, after a few more minutes of awkward silence had passed by. She shook her head and before he knew it, she was crying once again, but without sobs this time. She sat down on one bed, covering her face with her hands. He sat beside her, feeling clumsy and just as lost as her.

“It wasn’t anything that terrible, they barely touched me, it was worse for Mischlitt and I didn’t get shot or anything, but still...”

After hesitating, he forgot his own fear and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. She yelped, a little surprised, but then she hid her face in his chest and he finally felt of some use.

“It’s okay to feel like that. This wasn’t just anything...”

“But...!” she couldn’t stop herself from crying.

“Sshh...” he gently asked.

Magari could never have guessed that Zeri had such a soft side. But she gladly leaned over him. And his arms surrounded her, as her father’s arm would do. She could feel his heart beating fast in his chest. And she knew at this moment that she needed that man. At first, she couldn’t tell that it would be for more than just this time. That realization came to her only later. At least, he was there now. And even if he was a man, he was no threat. He was securing her more than anyone could have. And his face would always ease her beating heart on the battlefield. He was fighting, so there was a reason for everything. It wasn’t all happening for nothing.

To be continued...


	4. What can we do?

_In his haste, he lost it,_

_and in his haste, he destroyed it._

_But in the end, **it** still survived._

_..._

_War heroes_

Chapter 4 – What can we do?

Somehow, as she cried and as he comforted her, they slowly fell asleep. This day had been nerve wrecking and they were both exhausted. They wake up in the morning to find themselves in each other embrace, much to their surprise. Mischlitt had already left, to save what little pride she had left.

Zeri was the first awake and he seriously reflected on the possibility of getting up and back to his room so that Magari would be left to wake up alone and without any embarrassment. His reflection took too long, because Magari was awake before that he could make a decision. Her eyelashes blinked in an adorable manner. She looked surprised and backed away from him, as much as she could with his arms around her. He felt himself blushing and let go of her. A shy smile grew on her lips.

“Good morning,” she murmured, her voice barely audible.

“Good morning to you too.” He replied, forcing himself up. He had to stop embarrassing both of them. He grabbed his glasses on the night table and got up. It felt weird to think that they had spent the night sleeping in the same bed! The clock on the wall showed that classes would start in an hour.

“I guess I’ll be going, now.” He added, not looking at her.

“Thanks for your help last night. And for staying with me. I’ll try to check over Mischlitt.”

She was truly a brilliant girl when she dared to talk. But when he met her later that day, Magari had her head back in her books. She barely talked to Rene, and Mischlitt looked colder than ever. Cosette tried to be nice with them and seemed quite worried about every Darcsen from their classes. The strange Jugin was still hidden, so that left only three of them to worry about...

...

Avan walked up to Zeri and tapped him on the shoulder, which earned him a grimace that the young dark haired man couldn’t hide.

“I’ve looked all over for you, yesterday. Weren’t you supposed to train at the drillground?”

“As a matter of fact, I was training, but... I had to leave in a hurry...”

“Why’s that?” Avan asked, frowning.

“It’s none of your business.”

The young man got the hint. He wasn’t always stupid and as a matter of fact, he could actually be brilliant when it came to socializing with people. Sometimes, Zeri envied him. He, himself, could speak up to be heard, but some Darcsens would rather stay silent and look like fools instead of trying to prove themselves.

“Well, I wanted to ask you something about today’s test. The frontier between...”

Now it was Zeri’s turn to frown.

“Have you been studying, Avan Hardins?!”

“Why do you say it like that?! I can study too. And we’re going to fight around the places mentioned in the test, so I’m curious about the field.”

”Check the maps, Avan. They give us one for every mission.”

“Well, I kinda lost my copy.”

Zeri looked up at the ceiling. And that guy was supposed to be his commanding officer...

...

“Your mission today will be a defensive one. If we can hold our ground for five hours, reinforcements will arrive and the enemy will have to pull back.”

Avan felt tired before that they even got started. Defensive missions always felt way more stressing than the rest. He had almost gotten over the idea of killing an enemy soldier, but to wait like a rabbit in his hole, killing the soldiers that were too close and trying to hold his ground... To wait! He wasn’t someone renowned for his patience.

_I’d rather wipe them out..._

And the thought was scary. Sometimes, Avan had the impression that he would forget what was really important. Every life had value, but it was war. And still, the boy had nightmares every now and then. He had become a scout, leading his comrades all around the battlefield. He was slowly getting to know them, and even if their enemies would fall, he never really thought he could lose his new friends.

Cosette was like as sister, as clumsy as him. Zeri was a big brother, looking after him and often questioning his decisions. It helped him question himself. Avan knew he couldn’t always make the right choices, but he was trying his best. And he was ready to take full responsibility for everything taking place on the battlefield.

_How was it for you, Leon? You also pulled down the trigger. You never mentioned that side of the academy. You were way too patriotic to think about yourself when you could defend the country. Why did you choose that path? Can I ever be half as good as you were, bro?_

Avan would never admit it, but his brother was the closest thing he had to a father. And as long as he didn’t know what had truly happened to him, he wouldn’t let his will waver.

...

The mission was taking place in a frozen landscape. His boots were slipping as he ran around their main base, shooting down enemy scouts. There was blood on the white snow. As he turned around a hill, he came almost right into a large tank. He dived, to hide in the snow, grabbing his radio.

“I need a lancer here, they got a tank,” he warned the other.

“We don’t have anyone right now, Reiner has been hit!”

“Call Rene in reinforcement. We won’t hold on if that thing get to our base.”

The tank rolled in the snow and Avan tried to make himself as small as possible. Someone stepped on him when the tank was farther ahead.

“What the..?!”

Boooooom!

“Rene got the tank!”

Avan raised his gun and fired right in the enemy’s face. The bullet ripped off his nose, which felt directly on the red haired boy’s head. He tossed it away, annoyed by the blood and shocked by the yells of the soldier. He tried to get up, but his legs felt like marshmallows and enemy’s fire flew everywhere around his head. The noseless soldier was down, but still gurgling and whining. Through the pain, he raised his shield.

A fencer, was all Avan could process as the sword slashed the air above his head. He was knee-deep in the snow.

“Avan, get down!” Lavinia asked. He ducked as a tank’s shot flew over him. The fencer was thrown back, dismembered by the terrible shot.

Avan shook as he tossed a human leg to the side this time. His heart had rarely beaten so fast before. He felt like throwing up. He looked at their tank. Lavinia was moving onwards.

“I’ll block the path for them, Avan, go and get some cover!”

“We need back-up here!!” Cosette asked in the comlink.

“Did someone saw Nichols? He was off to scout the north area of our second base, but he’s not answering anymore!” Franca said.

“I’ve found him.” Zeri almost immediately answered. “I need a medic here.”

Shots echoed through the air as Avan ran back to his base. He helped covering Nichols’ rescue. Gave out orders, acting like a robot. As he hid behind sandbags, Cosette holding down her breath right next to him, he wondered.

“How long has it been already?”

The blond girl frowned.

“About three hours.” She sighed.

He tried to cheer her up, charging new ammunitions in his gun.

“Only two more to go before reinforcement is here.”

As the enemy’s fire died down, he got up, swirling around and shooting at the first target he could spot.

“Lavinia’s tank need repairs. It’s going to blow up if we don’t hurry.”

“I’m coming,” Magari replied.

“Be careful everyone. I want someone to cover Magari!”

“On it,” Zeri’s answer came almost as quickly as Avan had made his demand.

Cosette frowned, looking around the base. There was no one in view.

“I hope they’ll be alright.” She sighed.

“Who, Magari and Zeri?”

“Yeah, well, them and everyone else.”

Avan was a little confused. Cosette was always worried for everyone, but today, she had been looking after Zeri, Magari and Mischlitt a little more than usual.

“Hey, boss, be careful, there’s a sniper coming your way, I couldn’t stop him.” Pete warned him.

Avan ducked down behind the sand bags, but Cosette hadn’t time to move. She was shot in the arm and thrown to the ground before that her friend could hear the sniper’s firing.

“Cosette!”

“I’m okay,” she said, grimacing. “It’s just a scratch.”

But she was bleeding a lot and this freaking mission was starting to be more than Avan could handle. He jumped to his feet, shooting down the enemy sniper. Lotte’s voice could be heard through the radio:

“Death tolls skyrocketed!”

Avan pestered against her as he kneeled next to Cosette. Taking out his ragnite, he tried to check her wound without making it worse. The blond girl took a sharp breath in as he exposed the damaged skin.

“I should try being an engineer on our next mission,” he tried to joke.

He looked as pale as the snow.

“It only grazed the skin, it can wait.”

But tears of pain were gathering in her eyes.

“I’m patching you up and sending you back to the base Cosette.” He turned to grab the radio. “I need back-up here. A shocktrooper would be handy to hold back attackers.”

“I’m coming down,” Erik said with his sharp voice.

On the other side of the battlefield, Zeri was clearing a path for Magari. She was also shouting down the enemy and he wondered how a girl with her frail constitution could take the recoil of her own gun.

She jumped over a corpse, running ahead to reach their tank, which was slowly rolling backward, to meet up with them. Smoke was coming out from the Zakka.

“I’m here, Lavinia. We’ll fix it in time.” She whispered.

Her breaths were short and erratic. All that running around was tiring. The snow was so damp. As Magari got closer to the tank, she noticed the machine wasn’t stopping. It kept on going backwards.

“Lavinia? What are you doing?” Zeri asked, his voice sounding urgent.

Magari would be crushed if the tank’s conductor didn’t stop.

“I think she’s been knocked out.” Rene replied.

The young girl was up ahead, blowing up another enemy tank. The radio communications were saturated by both their comrades and the enemy. Zeri ran ahead, hoping that Magari would get out of the way. Instead, she jumped on the moving Zakka, grabbing onto its broken part to keep herself up.

“Lavinia, if you can hear me, stop that thing right now!”

There was no answer, but Magari’s yell as she was burned by some lightning bolt.

“Dammit!”

Zeri cut off his radio, unable to think whit all the orders and asking coming from it. Avan had no freaking strategy and once again, they were going right for a disaster. He ran, with all the strength he had left, to catch up with the Zakka. The canon let out a mortar shot, which almost blew up the abandoned house where their enemies had their base. Cursing, Zeri launched himself at the tank and managed to get on top of its shaking form in a matter of seconds. Getting inside was something else, but he managed to stumble inside without breaking his neck. Lavinia had been wounded to the head and had truly lost consciousness.

He quickly forced the tank to a halt before to mind about Lavinia’s state. She was out cold, but she seemed alright. He let her lying down on the floor of the cabin before to get out so he could check on Magari. The young girl had fallen at the sudden stop, but she was back on her feet, fixing the machine as quickly as she could with her burned hands. She was crying as she worked. For an instant, Zeri just felt the need to rush to her and hide her in his arms.

But bullets were still tearing the air and they still had one hour of fighting in front of them.

“This is insane.” He thought out loud, checking his ammunitions and feeling his heart contorting with pain in his chest. It was war after all.

It felt like years had passed when Brixham finally told them that the reinforcements were there and that the enemy’s forces that were left pulled back.

“We did it!”

Avan dropped himself with a sigh on the locker-room’s bench, next to Zeri. The Darcsen wiped out the sweat lingering on his forehead. Every guy from the class was quite beaten up.

“I can’t believe we’ll have to go to class tomorrow.” Alexi whispered.

They nodded. None of them wanted to go on about their impressive deeds during the fight. They were all glad to still be alive.

...

_Hi mom,_

_I know it’s pretty rare for me to write anything to you, but I need your advice on something. Don’t worry about me, school is going fine. I was accepted as a shocktrooper and we had a few fights, but nothing really serious. For now, the worst that happened was one anti-Darcsen attack. You could say it was serious. Don’t fret on it, it’s all over. Maybe I’m presenting things in the wrong order..._

_You see, we’re four Darcsens around the school. We’re all in the same class. They want to keep trouble in the same place, I guess. There’s Jugin, who’s barely ever seen around. I’m still not sure if that guy truly exists or not. Then, there’re two girls, Mischlitt and Magari. They’re both brilliant. Magari’s always hidden behind a book, but she’s actually quite pretty. It seems many guys have noticed. People around are jealous. Mischlitt has good grades. Even better than mines. Magari’s unreachable, because she doubts every guy showing interest in her._

_Anyway, the reason why I’m writing this is that attack against us. It happened a few days ago. I was training when I got shot. I’m not telling you this to have you worried. I’m a soldier and it’s normal for me to get shot. I know this sounds even worse. Anyway, you certainly understand what I mean. ... I was taken to the woods close to the school and tied to a tree. And they molested the girls in front of me. Magari, especially, since they find her prettier, I guess. I can’t forget how she yelled. And how I couldn’t do anything..._

_When it was over, she looked for comfort and I did my best. At the same time, she tried to play it strong. She’s an engineer and she fixed me up herself. She would make a good nurse. But anyway... My real question is... how am I supposed to help them now? Mischlitt had a big reaction as she woke up, she was panicked, she even slapped Magari and as I tried to help, things seemed to get only worse._

_Sometimes, I have the impression they look at me as an enemy. And Magari looks so hurt and frail. She always looked like that, but her smile’s gone now. Is there something I can do about it? I couldn’t watch them running ahead of danger or doing anything foolish because of what happened in the woods. I feel responsible, because I was there. I’m the only one who knows what has happened. I can get through any exam, but I can’t figure out what to tell them. Have any clue about what I should do, mom? Thanks in advance._

_Take care, Zeri._

_..._

_Dear son,_

_You really got me worried. I knew you would face risks out there, but to be attacked on the school ground! I’m glad to hear that you’re alright, though I doubt it’s over for you at all. We always did our best to protect you from harm despite everything, my Zeri, and it seems you’ve run right into danger. Please be careful. As for the girls..._

_I noticed you mentioned this Magari quite a lot. Did you forget to tell me something else? You seem to be attached to her, and not only because she’s a fellow Darcsen. Has her smile really fade, or is it more that she doesn’t smile to you? You comforted her, when she looked for comfort. You’re not really good at showing your emotions, and I bet you were angry at yourself while holding her up._

_Magari and Mischlitt both need time. Don’t rush them, but be sure to let them know that you’re ready to help her. Open up and forget about being a hero. The best way to help is to be yourself, my son. One more thing, maybe they look at you as an enemy because you saw them as they were weakened and hurt._

_Maybe you misunderstood their own shame. Keep that in mind so you may understand them. You were ashamed of witnessing their suffering and it must be the same for them. Keep an eye on that pretty Magari and write again. I’d like to have good news from you and to hear more about that girl hiding herself behind books. Tell me more about you, next time, dear son. Made any friend so far? How are your classes and your teachers? There’s no way you’ll be attacked another time, is there?_

_Your father and I, we miss you a lot. He insisted on sending you a gift with this letter._

_Take care,_

_Mawa_

_P.S.: I love you, Zeri._

To be continued...


	5. Threats

_In his haste, he lost it,_

_and in his haste, he destroyed it._

_But in the end, **it** still survived._

_..._

_War heroes_

_Chapter 5 – Threats_

Avan woke up in the middle of the night, holding back a yell of terror. He was sweaty and horrific pictures were still running in his mind. Why did he have to remember all of them? And their voices, their nameless eyes, their wounds... Cosette’s blood. He grabbed his head between his hands, shivering. Was this what his brother had been through? Was this what it meant to defend one’s country? To look at death right in the eyes and to keep all the nightmares from it. Would he ever be able to fall back to sleep? How where the others doing after such a mission?

“Sometimes, I wished this was all there was to it. Just a nightmare.”

Jardee peeped in his sleep. Avan sighed and rolled around his bed, the sheet entangling around his legs. He was glad to be alone. His mother would have yelled at him, saying he was acting like a sissy. She would certainly give him a hug anyway, but it wouldn’t feel as good.

He wondered how Cosette was doing. She had been hospitalized for the night. He knew visiting hours were closed during night time, but he was still worried. The bullet had deeply grazed her arm. It was great that they could do miracle with ragnite, but Avan still knew some wound never healed perfectly.And, he had no idea why, but knowing that Randy was the one taking care of her was no comfort at all.

That guy was acting weird sometimes, especially when Avan was around. He had this strange look in his eyes sometimes. As if he was plotting something.

“Must be me over thinking. Zeri would laugh at me if he knew.”

Avan looked out the window to the night sky. He shivered, remembering how cold it had felt today, during their mission. He hoped no one would get sick. He wondered if Leon was somewhere out there. After all, his body had never been found.

“I can’t believe you got through all that, Leon. You really are something else.”

And beneath the love he felt towards his brother, Avan felt a painful guilt. He’d never be as good as Leon. He’d never be him. He would remain the clumsy guy who barely succeeded to survive every mission the Lanseal academy would threw him in.

He remembered the test they had tomorrow and that he’d forgotten to study and cursed as he saw the sun lighting up the sky.

...

_We live in modern time, but sometimes, our people are still hunt like animals. There’s no real reason. Our only fault is to be born with dark hair and blue eyes. But we’re still proud. Sometimes, I forget where our pride first came from. But I’ll write it all down here, so that someone with an open mind will someday understand our side in this civil war._

_Darcsen are proud of their ancestors. Nothing in our nation’s history proves that we ever did anything wrong. For a matter of fact, there’s not much real history book left from our people. We’re mentioned in the valkyria’s legend, as the bringer of the doom. But how could we fight against those blue flames’ bearer? We’re engineers, we’re technicians and scientists. Often, they lower us to the state of slaves._

_My sister served in the mines. My parents were chased down in the woods like animals and my father was almost killed in such a hunt. And now, the queen revealed herself to be a Darcsen herself. The woman representing our past oppressors was in fact one of us. And it could be possible that Darcsens have been of the royal family for sometimes. We never planned to overtook the country though. We were as shocked as everyone else. But still, they want to make us pay for the lie._

_Wasn’t she lying to protect herself? Why else would there be a lie? When did the valkyrias became Darcsen? What is going on in Gallia? Were our leaders hostages all this time just like us? Gallia is made from a bunch of different nations. The only one despised is the one named Darcsen. But why? I’ve been looking around, doing all I could to remain impartial, but the truth eludes me. I hope Welkin Gunther can help me find the right books. I know they’ll tell me the truth in time. I’ll find it and write it down. It’s the least I can do for our people._

...

Zeri stared at the class. It felt really lively today. Girls were talking about the boys. Collen had rejected another flirt. Nichols was being scolded at by his sister. Cosette sewed, humming a song. Rene was smiling, chatting with Magari, who smiled back, holding her fateful book in her arms. His dark eyes lingered on her. Lately, he had started losing focus whenever the small Darcsen was around. Maybe was his mother right.

Maybe was there something more to him worrying about that girl. He realized that a goofy smile was growing on his face as the frail girl laughed. He couldn’t hear her, her voice was always so discreet. He looked away right when she noticed him staring. He sure hoped no one had realized how distracted he was.

Avan was late once again. He often slept in. He arrived just as the last bell rung. The history teacher glared at him, though she knew there was nothing to do with him. The young man waved at Zeri, and the Darcsen nodded in response. As time was going by, he had to say that this moron’s presence was becoming a little more welcome. He was the closest thing he had to a friend, though he had trouble accepting to be friend with any of the guys in this class. They could die in any mission. It felt terrible enough to see his enemies dying. He wasn’t sure he could endure the death of a friend.

“...ant the laveiatan cup will start next month.” The teacher said.

Zeri felt taken aback. He knew a lot about that cup. Classes were fighting between each others to see which one was the best. Juliana was bound to show up and praise herself. He wasn’t sure what to think about that girl. She was brilliant, but so lost in her obnoxiousness. And still, he felt ready to talk right back at her to bring her to her senses. He knew he could reach her. Somehow, it felt easier than reaching Magari. At least, Juliana wasn’t scared to talk out loud. As the bell rung, the class almost burst into concerned questioning.

“I hope you’re ready to get quite a beating, Class G.”

Juliana was standing in the doorway, her arms crossed underneath her incredible chest. Her fellow students were backing her up, smiling widely.

Raymond, Nichols and Joachim cowered in the back of the room, showing different levels of fear. For an instant, Zeri mused why guys who were able to hold their ground against tanks and enemy soldiers couldn’t do the same against Juliana. But then her eyes fell on him and he was reminded of the fact he was a Darcsen. And what it meant for fools like this pink haired girl.

“You can say what you like, Juliana.” Avan retorted, raising one hand at her as to warn her. “This year, class G will win the cup!”

The rest of the class was looking quite taken aback. Was he really serious? They were supposed to be the worst class ever brought to Lanseal’s academy! Juliana’s smirk was so infuriating, Zeri wished Cosette would have the nerve to slap her once again.

“I don’t think you have what it takes to defeat Class A. We’re the elite of this school after all.”

As she said that, Zeri groaned, clearly remembering his last chance meeting with her class. Juliana’s smirk turned upside down, since she remembered too.

“We’ll see how things will turn out, but I wouldn’t be too confident if I were you.” He said on a cold ton.

The rest of the class looked even more surprised, but Zeri observed how Juliana’s eyes lingered over both Darcsens girls of the class. It stayed on Magari’s side for a long time.

“You can dream all you want. This year as every other years, Class A will claim the cup!” she finally said, before to turn around with as much bragging as she could. Her classmates waved at them, smirking with arrogance. Avan looked back at Zeri, while Cosette was frowning, looking at Mischlitt and Magari alternatively. She knew she was missing something there.

“Hey guys, what’s with the long face? We can win this!” Avan confidently said.

“Are you crazy?! We were always the loser when competitions took place around the school ground!”

“Yeah, well, we’ve been doing good so far with our missions. No one died out there. Why would you be scared by some competition?”

The class gave up on explaining to Avan. But Zeri understood that his friend would have a lot of work to do to get all the others into this. Cosette was ready to give it all she could, but she was a mere engineer. There wasn’t much she could do, though she was vital on the battlefield.

His gaze went back to Magari. The other vital engineer in their team. There was also Raymond and Randy, but Zeri tended to forget. And to be honest, Magari was quite nicer to look at then Randy... She blushed as she noticed his eyes on her. But this time, he didn’t look away. He may not have time for something like this, but outside of the battlefield, he had time to think. And to feel...

...

During the following days, Magari tried desperately to understand Zeri’s behavior. She had noticed his stares. On the battlefield, he would often team up with her, apparently by coincidence. But she wasn’t fooled. The great Zeri, who was often thinking to himself and only speak up to voice his disappointment, was interested in her. He smiled at her for no clear reason. But then, there was Juliana.

He would engage conversation with her in the library, even if people should stay silent. He would be interested by her political views and opinions. They could often be found quarreling about his theory on some fact around the campus. Avan noticed it, but not as quickly as Magari did. Being the shy girl that she was, she understood that she was no match for Juliana. Any male would prefer that busty outspoken woman over her. But why would a Darcsen do so, that was a complete mystery...

The way that bitch talked about their race! The way she had refused to apologize for her own classmates behavior towards them. Magari started feeling jealous of the constant attention that pink haired girl was getting. Around school, Zeri barely talked to her. He still stared and would smile, but if Juliana happened to walk by, his attention would shift. On the battlefield, he was her knight, shielding her from harm. She knew she wasn’t imagining stuff, the other girls had noticed and started asking her if anything was going on between them. Since Zeri seemed to care more about Juliana than her, Magari repeated that nothing was going on. But then, Melissa realized the situation and revealed herself as the greatest threat she could have to face this year...

The young girl was alone in the locker room the first time it happened. She was simply putting her things back in her own locker, organizing the numerous ammunitions in their rightful place. A sudden impression of being watched made her look over her shoulder. And Melissa was standing right there, her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes barely opened.

“So it’s you who’ve been subduing my Zeri!”

Magari frowned, taken aback. She had no idea what this girl was talking about. Of course, many girls around the school were interested by Zeri. He was tall, dashing and mysterious and brilliant. But he didn’t belong to any of these girls. And certainly not to Melissa. Zeri was a free man and a free spirit and Magari would never think that she was subduing him.

“I don’t know what you mean..”

Melissa almost jumped at her throat, pushing her inside the locker, between the grenades and bullet rounds.

“I see how he acts around you. How he stares and smiles at you and how he protects you in every mission.”

“I never asked him...”

“And you tease him, hiding behind that book and you blush. You wanna steal him from me, isn’t that right? You little...!”

She pushed her deeper in the locker and Magari let out a cry of pain as her arm was cut by the sword she kept in case a fencer needed a spare.

“Stay away from him, you hear me?!”

Magari nodded and shook her head at the same time. She felt so scared, she could barely think. But at this moment, a male voice spoke up.

“What’s going on here?”

Melissa looked up and vanished. Magari just left herself slump against the inner walls of her locker, shaking from the unexpected attack. Zeri and her weren’t that close, and still, she had to pay for knowing him and the fact he showed her some attention around the battlefield. It felt so unfair.

“Is someone there? I heard some yells, so I...”

She recognized the voice. Her face flushed from embarrassment and she was shocked by the irony. Zeri fell silent as he spotted her boots coming out from her opened locker. He walked up to her, as fast as he could without running and his eyes were filled with worry as he stopped in front of her.

“Magari? What happened here? Are you hurt?”

She tried to hide her arm, but it only pointed it out for him to check.

“Who did this to you?” he yelled, now fully mad.

She coiled up over herself and that reminded him of her shy character. He gently grabbed her shoulders and helped her getting out of the locker. She almost tripped and blushed an awful lot as she was entirely back under his eyes.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you, Magari. But... Who did that to you? I know you’re not that clumsy.”

“This... It’s the girls locker room, you know, Zeri.”

He looked around, shifting from one leg to the other nervously.

“We appear to be alone. Though I don’t believe you weren’t alone when this happened.” He observed, pointing her wound.

“I can’t talk about it. And I’m sure this won’t happen again.”

“Magari, you can’t be serious. Is someone threatening you?”

“Why do you care?!” she retorted angrily, grabbing her book and pushing it into his chest to keep him away from her.

Zeri was truly shocked at this point but he understood that something was really wrong for Magari to get angry. She almost looked surprised herself by her violent outburst, but she kept the book between them with her arms outspreads.

“You’re looking after me on the battlefield and that’s about it. Around school, you barely ever talk to me, and still, some people think...”

Her voice became a mere whisper and she looked down, her arms shaking. Her blood was dripping to the ground, slowly. Zeri hesitated, slowly understanding how his attitude had been perceived.

“I never intended... I mean, I was afraid that you were scared of me, so I kept my distance. With what happened...”

He found himself so dumb, but Magari shook her head.

“I’m not scared. I just don’t want any special treatment on the field, only because I’m a Darcsen or because I’m a girl. So just... just stay away from me.”

She pushed in the book fiercely, but her hands were shaking as if she was fighting against herself. Zeri felt it hard to breathe, but it was because of the terrible knot building up in his throat. He tried to grab her by the shoulders, but she kept him away, shaking her head.

“You’re sure that I don’t scare you, Mag?”

The use of her nickname and the fact his voice became softer had her realize how wrong her reaction was. He really cared, genuinely. He was just clumsy at showing it all the time. Maybe he cared for her as a little sister, nothing else.

“People thinks that we’re hiding something. Nothing like what happened in the woods. And I’m not scared from it anymore. Or well, it’s easier as time passes.”

Zeri managed a smile and replaced one of her locks behind her ear.

“Who hurt you like this Magari? You need to treat that wound, you know... And if this happened because of me, I need to know.” He said, grabbing her wounded wrist.

She blushed and whined feebly, before to shake her head.

“It was just an accident.”

“Were you threatened?!” he insisted.

“I don’t want to give you any troubles. Please understand, Zeri, that I can’t tell you anything about this.”

He was pained to see what little trust she had in him, but he accepted that answer for now.

“I wouldn’t retaliate. I just want to protect you.”

She blushed even more and looked away, still holding the book as a barrier to keep him away from her, but not really doing it on purpose anymore.

“Why don’t we sit down and fix you up? And you’d let go of that book? You’re gonna break some of my ribs at this rate.”

“Oh! I’m sorry, I hadn’t realized I was pushing on it like that. And with my strength, I doubt I could hurt a big guy like you.”

He received that comment as a compliment and felt his heart skipping a few beats. He had already talked with many girls, but none as cute as Magari. She made him feel all weird. It wasn’t like Juliana. That girl was a sight to behold, but he would always forget her looks because of what she could say and how she treated his kind. Magari was different. She was a sight he wanted to remember and to explore. He was curious about her, but he also felt shy, because she was a Darcsen like him and she reminded him about his mother. She was sweet and delicate and strong, but also secret.

She dropped the book and let him guide her to a seat, trembling slightly.

“You shouldn’t be here you know,” she whispered as he started checking her wound. “And I can look after myself on my own.”

“I want to be sure you won’t be harmed anymore than this before that I leave you.”

“I told you already that this was an accident.”

“What’s going on? Why do you have to lie to me, huh?”

Magari stared at her feet.

“I... you know many girls like you around the school, don’t you?”

He blinked, taken aback by the change of subject. He then shook his head, feeling his cheeks turning a bright shade of red. He was aware of many things, but girls were an interest he tried to evade. He didn’t need any distraction.

“Some of your fans are more possessive than others and they’re not happy to see how careful you are about me around the battlefields. They’re talking as if the way you’re backing me up means... something more.”

He froze an instant, looking up from her arm to stare her in the eyes. He felt a slight knot in his throat.

“So they’re... jealous?”

She blushed and shook her head.

“They did this to you because they are jealous and you’re afraid that things could get worse if I showed anymore attention for you?”

She nodded shyly before to look away and to shake her head.

“I don’t want you to evade me...”

He blinked once again and she blushed even more.

“I mean... We can be friend right?” she quickly added.

 He nodded with a soft smile, which softened even more as she tried to hide her face behind her hands.

“You’re just too cute Magari. Who wouldn’t want to be your friend? Come on, let’s get out of here, before that someone walk in and get the wrong idea about what’s going on. We are in the girls locker room after all.”

He finished her bandage, not insisting anymore on the question of what (or who) caused her wound anymore. He was just glad that she wanted to be around him.

To be continued...


	6. Randy the Raven

_In his haste, he lost it,_

_and in his haste, he destroyed it._

_But in the end, **it** still survived._

_..._

_War heroes_

_Chapter 6 – Randy the Raven_

Zeri and Magari arrived at the cafeteria together, the young man being extremely careful of not letting their shoulders brushing together as they walked. He was amazed that they had talked that much and that Magari outwardly admitted that she wanted to be with him. As they sat, Avan looked up to his friend, noticing the fact both Darcsen had been spending time together. Magari was barely ever seen with any guy, except for him and Welkin. And she was still as shy as a mouse…

"Hey, Avan, did you heard about the special announcement? The Lanseal tournament is closing in. If we defeat class B, we'll be against Juliana's class." Lotte claimed. "I can see the headlines from here. How our class will brilliantly brave perils and how some of our dear classmates will perish. Tragedy in class G."

"Oh no…" whispered Raymond, covering his head with his arms.

He looked scared, which was almost normal for his classmates.

"Come on, Lotte, it should sound more like “The incredible victory of the Seven Destroyers!"

"Not that silly nickname again," Chloe sighed.

"But it sounds cool." Avan protested.

"Why seven?" observed Mischlitt.

"Why destroyers?!" added Colleen.

"We should have held a vote to decide it, or something." Randy said, nodding to himself.

"But it's cool!"

"In your head, Hardins." Zeri retorted.

"Why are you all ganging up on me?!"

"We're not… We're just telling you the truth, man," Pete added with a smile.

"But I also think it's a nice name. Of course, Destroyers sound a little extreme, but if we forget…" Cosette was interrupted by Lotte's scream:

"The Seven Destroyers strike again! That sounds great!"

Zeri rolled his eyes.

The rest of the lunch went on with most students giving their opinion over their team's name instead of any strategy for the tournament itself.

"It wasn't this lively before," Magari observed, smiling to herself.

Rene agreed and Zeri had to admit, Avan brought many good distractions to all of his classmates, every now and then.

…

Avan was sitting on the bench, wandering about what could be on the cafeteria menu for the night. The girls were currently having their medical check-up of the month. In a military school, it was important to make sure every student was healthy. Zeri was running drills under the sun, thankful for the fresh wind that made it bearable. They were all working hard, doing their best. A new sense of teamwork had started to spread across their whole class. Joachim stumbled on his foot and complained about a sprained ankle.

"I bet he just want to go get treated and have a chance to peek on the girls." Randy snickered.

Avan blinked, his mind suddenly amazed by that idea. Girls, being more interesting than food? Of course, he was like any other guy and he wasn't entirely ignorant. But he was still pretty naïve.

"Why would he go through so much trouble for that? He already think he's unlucky enough not to push his luck on that field."

The other guys laughed at that.

"The sprained ankle is a good idea thought. Don't you think we should escort him to make sure he's okay? As class leader and as vice president, we have to show other the good way of doing things."

"You're right, Randy. Let's go and help Joachim."

It was clear on Randy's face that he had something else in mind, something mischievous at that, but he changed his expression as soon as Avan was looking at him again. The three boys reached the infirmary quite quickly when you knew they had an injured comrad to carry around. Joachim was complaining loudly about his foot, but Randy warned him of his plans, in his own way.

"I can't believe that you had such an idea, Joachim. To fake pain so you could peak on the girls."

"Cut him some slack, Randy. The poor guy looks in real pain," Avan observed.

Joachim clutched to Avan, his eyes shining with surprise and shock.

"And I'm really in pain. Why would I want to go peak on the girls? With my luck?! I'd get killed!"

"And I bet you wouldn't run fast enough with that ankle. But don't forget, things could be wors…!"

"Oh no, man, don't you say that! Whenever anyone says that, something awful happens to me!"

Randy had spotted the examination room where the girls were getting their check-up. He used the fact the two other boys were focused on arguing with him to his advantage and dragged them behind him. He wished that the voices of his comrades would get a little lower though, so he wouldn't be caught in his own trap…

"It could have been broken, it's just a sprained ankle." The class representative observed.

"I may not be able to walk on that feet ever again, Avan Hardins. With my luck…!"

"It has nothing to do with it! Luck isn't the only way to go through life, you know."

Avan's patience had reached its limits. But Joachim wasn't done either.

"I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand Avan. You've never been unlucky a single day of your life."

Joachim was now entirely relying on Avan to keep his balance, and Randy simply pushed them around to bring his plan in motion. The vice president opened the door to the examination room and kicked in Joachim's back to force them inside. They tumpled to the floor, Avan ending up squashed under his classmate's weight. Randy laughed as he heard the girls' squeals. This should ruin Avan's reputation for the rest of his lifetime.

Unfortunately for Randy's plan, Joachim had knocked out Avan as he fell on him. The girls yelling almost cause the young fencer to have a heart attack and he passed out. Cosette was the one to walk up to the guys, holding her unbuttoned shirt closed in front of her.

"They were trying to peek on us!" Lotte marvelled, already gone in another of her headlines-mystical-search.

"I don't think so." Coleen observed. "Look, Avan's bleeding and Joachim is holding his leg."

"They're both unconscious" Mischlitt determined with a cold tone.

"Then, do they need… treatment?" Magari asked shyly.

"Of course they do. Let's fix'em up, girls!" Rene added, already buttoning up her shirt.

Avan's jaw had been slightly bruised in his fall and he'd bite his own tongue, which was pretty painful and dangerous. He could have choked on his own blood if not taken care of. Joachim was treated in a separate bed and every girls were happy to evade the rest of their examination. It was a torture to be measured as some test subject, especially to see other girls' bustier shape.

At their age, where self esteem complexes were common, those health exams were pure humiliation. Avan woke up to a confusing scene, with Cosette's chest half exposed to his sight. In all the commotion, the young girl had forgotten to button up her shirt. Avan blinked twice and trice, noticing the pink laced bra and the perfect white skin underneath. His face turned the reddest red matching his hair and Cosette only leaned closer to him, unaware of the true reason for the confused look on his face.

"Are you running a fever, Avan?"

The poor guy had seen stuff like that in magazines from his friends back home, but never had he seen a real woman in such little clothing. Suddenly, he realized his imagination could complete the picture he had, which made him feel all funny inside, as if he could explode from the sudden pressure he was feeling within him. He forced himself to focus on Cosette's face.

"Co… Cosette? What's go…ing on?"

He had certainly missed something here. There was no other explanation.

"You fell in the room with Joachim, both unconscious. You both worked yourself out at drills, didn't you?"

Her smile calmed his beating heart for one moment, but then his eyes fell down, following her neckline and he looked the other way, terribly ashamed.

"Cosette! This is no way a lady should be dressed around a young man." Anisette warned her.

"The poor guy is sweating so much from the temptation of looking at your…"

"Oh my, I hadn't noticed I was still… And he saw it, didn't he?"

Now it was Cosette's turn to feel ashamed. And as Avan noticed that every girl from their class was there, he felt his temperature rising. He had no reason to be here. He hadn't done anything wrong, but he had to leave before that one of them decided to get mad.

"He did it all on purpose, girls. I knew it. Men are all the same." Sofia warned them.

"Avan isn't like that!" Cosette protested. "That incident was all my fault, I was careless."

"Could we drop the subject, it's embarrassing." Noel complained.

"Yeah, let's forget about it," Avan asked, getting up so that he could get out. Where the hell was Randy? "Have you treated Joachim's ankle?"

"His ankle? So that's why he was holding his leg!" Rene sighed. "We got it all wrong, girls, his knee's alright."

Avan sighed as he heard Joachim complaining about his terrible luck. This day really couldn't get any worse. And now he had to ask something to Zeri and no freaking idea about how he should ask it.

…

Sitting alone on a bench, Zeria was pretending to read some advanced tech book. But his thoughts were lost on simpler things than tank mechanics. He didn't really care about the civil war at the moment. He was more worried about a certain Darcsen girl.

Magari had clearly been threatened by someone because he had given her too much attention on the field. He had no idea who could do something that dumb. He knew he was good looking, but he was a Darcsen and that often drove girls off.

For some reason, Zeri had always focused into developing honest relationship that wouldn't make him vulnerable in any way. He had evaded girls and love so far, thinking everything would be best that way. But his head and heart were giving him contradictory messages. Magari's smile was a rare and wonderful gift he found himself wanting more than everything else. He wanted to protect her. But that meant he had to change the world to make sure she could live in peace with everyone, since she was also a Darcsen.

That thought made him wonder if he could convince someone as stubborn as Juliana herself. If he could, it would mean that he could change the whole country all by himself. But then again, working on that goal would make it hard to give his attention to Magari. And he had understood that the cute girl was jealous of all the attention he was giving to Juliana. It was a funny thought, but if he started comparing them, he had to admit the elite girl and the small Darcsen were total opposites.

And he couldn't say that he would like them the same. Juliana was always so infuriating. She could be brilliant, but she was closed off and barbaric over every Darcsen's question. Magari understood. She was maybe a little too quiet, but he could understand why she’d be like that. And she had her own little character, plus a very firm will.

He liked how she would turn bold on the battlefield whenever he would be by her side. He liked seeing her treating the wounded with all her might. She had patched up pretty much everyone around the squad and she carried all their ammunitions, though she was so frail looking. He wanted to protect her with all of his strength. Did that meant anything more because he wanted to protect her more than the other girls? Was this feeling solely there because she was a fellow Darcsen.

Was his mother right about all of this? Was he slowly falling for that girl? The idea scared him. Caring for her meant putting her in danger, though he still had no idea why. At the same time, that meant putting his heart on the line, and he had no idea if he was ready for that.

As any teen boy from his age, except maybe Avan, he had desires and needs. He wasn't sure if now was the right time to let them go wild. Especially since he felt so freaking confused about everything. He saw Juliana passing by the park and a few guys whistled her before to laugh at the dark glare she sent them.

"I know what I'd do with that rack of her." one of the boy whispered. "Did you see her…?"

Zeri sighed, feeling his lower body filling up with need. Juliana had everything a lusty guy could ask for, except the character. She would sometimes show up in some weird dreams and the poor man had no idea what he should assert about that. He felt that this was wrong, somehow.

Then he saw Magari walking by, holding a book as if it was her only mean to defend herself against the outside world and he immediately forgot the attractive Juliana. That Darcsen's girl had beautiful eyes, clear and soft, just as her soft and perfect skin. He knew that her hair were like liquid velvet to the touch and he knew how she felt between his arms. She belonged there.

Their eyes met and she beamed a smile, which was meant for him and just for him, and at that point, Zeri felt no doubt. She was perfect. Her skirt gently rowed around her thin legs. The guys wouldn't whistle at her, but they would still stare. And sometime he would hear them talk. Nobody could stay blind in front of Magari's beauty. And the need in Zeri was almost painful as she walked away, half hiding her face behind her book.

He had to settle things. To know what she was expecting from him. To understand himself. And he needed it fast…

…

As summer arrived, it revealed itself to be hotter than expected. The missions were harsh and suffocating, as they ran around in their full uniforms. Zeri had never sweated that much and he was grateful for the pool. Most boys liked it, since it was an occasion to see the girls at their sexiest. Cosette was pretty daring, though it had nothing to do with the ten size too small bikini that Juliana was wearing. Even Avan was found starting at her, since her body was too voluptuous to be natural.

Zeri had started acting a lot friendlier with Magari. They would often be seen together in the library, though always being quiet and really discreet about it. If she laughed when next to him, it would be while hiding her face behind her book. A few students would tease them, saying how Darcsens shouldn't group with each other, that it made them easy targets, but there weren't many who'd dare to oppose Zeri after seeing how he used his flamethrower on the battlefield.

Avan often teamed them up and Magari was getting to know Zeri pretty well, be it only for the fact that she spend her time patching him back up. Melissa had threatened her whenever she had been able to get in front of her alone, but it was getting hard. Zeri had warned Magari to be careful to always stay in occupied places with many people around her. He had tried to get her to talk about who was harassing her, but the small Darcsen was really stubborn on staying silent about it.

Zeri was still waiting for the moment when he'd see an opening or a sign that his friendship wasn't anything more than a friendship. He was growing restless and he had no idea why..

It was a dark and hot night as he turned and tossed and turned again in his bed. He kept on checking the clock and felt pretty edgy for some reason. He was supposed to sleep to be in top shape for the finals of the leviathan cup the next day. But the idea of fighting against Jualiana was nerve wrecking. Oh he wouldn't mind pulling the trigger as he aimed at her, knowing his gun would be charged with practice bullets. But the meaning of the gesture meant more, so much more.

It was like giving up on his vow of never retaliating. As a Darcsen, he was supposed to bear whatever was thrown to his face and show the other cheek to receive the same treatment. It was their only dignity, but how many time had he wanted to bypass that law and let his rage take place. Now he was given a chance, as he had the chance every time he was out in the front. He never abused it, never "overkilled" anyone.

But he had seen his share of people being massacred and Juliana's words were like fuel for his rage, like knives in his own flesh, in Magari's flesh. He could forgive, but never forget. And though the pink haired girl was attractive and though he also wanted to convince her into trusting him, he couldn't live much longer with so many questions in his head.

After rolling over for the nth time, he decided to get up and get something to eat or to drink down in the kitchen. The heat was certainly getting to his head… He had no idea who would be already down in the kitchen.

To be continued…


	7. Guilt and shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Zeri is impulsive... and regrets it...

_In his haste, he lost it,_

_and in his haste, he destroyed it._

_But in the end, **it** still survived._

_..._

_War heroes_

_Chapter 7 – Guilt and shame_

Zeri was surprised as he arrived in the kitchen to see that Juliana was also there, barely wearing a bathrobe over her thin pajama. Her legs were entirely showing and her chest was as impressive as ever. He noticed all that, before to shove any dirty thought to the back of his mind. Man, what was up with that girl, she seemed like she walked right out of some adult magazine!

She noticed him right away, with his half buttoned white shirt and dark hair shadowing his face.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, crossing her arms beneath her chest.

He ignored her, walking straight to the fridges so that he could grab something that would refresh him.

“I’m talking to you, Darcsen.” She said, her voice clearly stating how annoyed she was.

“There’s no need to shout, woman.” He retorted, not sure why he’d jump on the chance to bite back at her.

“What was that?”

“Thought I’d give you a chance to taste your own medicine. I’m here because I can’t sleep, and you neither. I have a name, but you don’t seem to remember it, so I’ll call you as you call me.”

“I’m no mere woman,” she muttered under her breath.

But thanks to the night silence, he could hear it just fine.

“And I’m no mere Darcsen either. It’s Zeri. Z-e-r-i. Simple and short for someone with as much wits as you...”

“Are you mocking or praising me?” she asked, fidgeting with a piece of her hair.

At that point, Zeri was trying to picture why she would still be there.

“Whatever suits you...”

He opened a can of juice and sipped it down slowly, while Juliana stayed on her side of the room, with her back against the wall. It felt so damn hot everywhere, the only thing Zeri felt like doing was running up the stairs of the school and jumping into the pool.

“You really got some nerves, even for a Darcsen. Why don’t you know of your own place?”

“I’d like to say we’re equal, but somehow, I don’t wanna lower myself to your level.”

He wasn’t thinking as he spoke, he knew that, but the damp air was getting to his head and he had had enough of being badmouthed by this... girl. The way she looked down to every of them. He thought of Magari, Magari who would be hiding behind a book, afraid to explore the outside world, afraid of getting hurt if she dared cross any line.

“You little...!”

He put his can down on the counter, walked around it and stood tall before her, his eyebrows crossed with anger.

“Go on, say it, Juliana. I got dark hair and dark eyes, ain’t that right? If that’s all you have against me, I can take it.”

She blushed slightly, but it could have been from anger... She wasn’t used to a Zeri that bite back to her remark.

“Weren’t you taught not to retaliate, you... dog!?”

He clenched his teeth at the insult, but didn’t dare to say a word. They were standing in front of each other, without anything between them but the heated and explosive feel of the room. There was a window behind him, so he could see her in the moon light, while his face was basking in the shadows.

“Is talking back retaliating to you? What do you know of my people anyway?”

It was a dangerous field, but he had enough with her looking down on him, acting so full of herself. She was nothing more than him. She had good looks and wits, but her slashing tongue held words that lashed at his heart like a whip. She had no right to be like that. There was no way he could become a hero and unite the Darcsen with the rest of the people if he couldn’t reach her.

“I know enough already! You Darcsens are...”

She hesitated as he took a few steps towards her, looking almost menacing...

“Are we monsters to you, Juliana? I don’t have fangs or claw, you know. I’m just as human as you are.”

She took a step back, overwhelmed by his presence. She had to bent her neck so that she could keep staring him right back in the eyes and it was nerve wrecking to see him teasing her like that. Where had he gotten the nerve to act all cocky suddenly?

“Back off, you dirty...!”

“So I’m dirty now? You’re sweating just as much as I do thanks to the heat. It’s summer for everyone.”

“Why don’t you leave me alone?! I hate Darcsens, I think I made that clear.”

“If it was true, you would have already run away from the monster that I am, wouldn’t you? But you’re still here, yelling names at me...” he observed, closing in on her.

Zeri wasn’t too sure what strange feeling he was following, but he was mostly acting on instinct. Maybe would he be able to crack her defenses and get her to understand that all her stupid ideas over Darcsen were wrong. Maybe could he get her to come to her senses... The thought of Magari came to him. The picture of her, being harassed by those stupid guys, that dared to lay hands on her. And Juliana who stood there, taunting him with her short bathrobe and oversized figures. The very sight of her yelled out sin and he should have walked away, but he cornered her to the wall instead.

“I never run away,” she whispered, trying to hold her ground and keep her cool even if he was standing just a few inches away from her.

He could taste her smell from there. It was intoxicating and scary. His senses were all turned on by her quick breathing and angry eyes. He should have run, there was nothing for him in her arms, but he grabbed her wrists anyway, just to feel how she would flinch under his touch. He didn’t really feel strong; in fact, he was panicking from deep inside. He had never noticed that he was taller than her. Her blue eyes were locked with his. She wasn’t resisting. Worse, she… He felt her hands on his chest, slipping under his unbuttoned shirt, skin to skin. His eyes widened from the shock and a slight gasp escaped his lips.

“You’re sweaty...”

Her voice wasn’t as harsh and maybe was that the trap he had waited to fall in. She had interested him from the first day, and he was so close now to be able to get her to understand. Her right hand was just above his heart. She certainly could feel it beating too fast. He breathed her in and out. She blinked once. Her eyelashes were so long. She could actually look kinda cute from up close. Her fingers gripped on his shirt.

“Stay away.” She whispered, pulling his collar down, forcing him to bent his neck.

Zeri didn’t understand anymore. Was she actually attracted by him? His heart quivered in his chest. This wasn’t what he’d been aiming for, not at all, but he was caught up in the moment. She was so close, her eyes glued to his. She wasn’t hiding, but he almost wished that she would. He thought of Magari as he leaned onto her, lowering his head to her level. It felt wrong. But the fact it was wrong made it all the more exciting.

He swore to himself that the heat had gotten to his head. She certainly had drunk something funny before that he came down. Before that he knew it, his lips were met by her mouth. Her mouth full of venom that actually tasted sweet. He tried to pull away, but she deepened the kiss, her hands gripping on his shoulders. Suddenly, he realized that a part of her wanted him. Even if he was Darcsen. And that felt incredible.

He dared to run one hand across her hair. He felt clumsy and so lost, but he didn’t mind. Right now, she was within reach. She accepted to be touched, hell, to be kissed by a Darcsen! It faded as soon as it came. Suddenly, he felt her nails in his skin and how she pushed him back.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

She was just as shocked as him, to say the least, and he stood breathless in front of her, blinking dumbly as if the answer could pop out of nowhere.

“What I’m doing? You were...”

She slapped him in the face, throwing his glasses to the floor and suddenly, she was taller and stronger.

“You filthy...”

She wiped off her mouth, her eyes flashing with hurt and feeling of betrayal. They had just crossed the line. But Zeri had to admit she had always attracted him somehow, in a strange, repulsive way.

“So I’m filthy now?”

_Or was it you that just corrupted me?_

As soft as her lips were, it couldn’t ease the pain he felt at her rejection. She pushed him again and he tripped on his shirt, which had been removed from him when he was unaware. He fell to the ground, ashamed and left wide open for her to lash out at him.

“How mighty do you think you are, to lay hands on me, to...!”

“You held me...”

He couldn’t actually believe it himself, but she had done so...

“I... just reacted, I was out of my mind! You’re a freaking Darcsen!”

And over the hate, he heard pain in her voice and his heart ached. Was her feelings in contradiction with her beliefs? Was it why it was so hard for them to talk without jumping at each other throat? He was too proud to stay down, but he hadn’t the strength to get back up right now. He felt like apologizing for putting her in that state of utter confusion. He wanted to erase all that had been done and to be back in his bed, unable to sleep and confused, but still intact.

“Julian...”

“Don’t you dare say my name, Darcsen!”

And the word hurt. Though it was his legacy, it hurt so much, because she was the one saying it, because he had longed for her arms for a few seconds. He couldn’t get her to understand.

“Were you trying to abuse me, like those guys who were playing with your fellow Darcsen? Is that how you really are?”

Panic came back and he shook his head, his eyes filled with horror. He remembered the men who dared to hurt his mother. Magari between the hands of those awful guys. Magari who he had betrayed when she was the only one truly understanding him. His pride shattered.

“I wasn’t... If it weren’t for people like you…”

“If you didn’t exist, there wouldn’t even be a war to begin with!” she selfishly said.

Zeri clenched his teeth, his heart twisting with agony. She dared to cross every line.

“What have we done to you, huh? It’s people like you, needing prey to persecute that cause this very war. What if the queen was a black woman, what would you do, hunt every africaneers?”

“You’re nothing but trouble! You’re trying to use some mind game on me, but it won’t work, Darcsen.”

“It’s Zeri!”

She could kiss him but she couldn’t even say his name, for heaven sake, what was her freaking problem!?

“That’s only half a name, Darcsen.”

She left with that, turning her back on him, maybe feeling as shaken as him, but not showing it anymore. He looked back, breathing heavily, feeling emptier than he’d ever did.

Was it really that wrong to be who he was? He felt tears welling up and fought them with all his rage. Why did he felt like apologizing for being a Darcsen? It never was his fault to begin with. He would never resent his parents for giving him life, but for a moment, he felt ashamed, and the shame was stronger, since he’d always told himself how proud he was to be a Darcsen. After all, if he hadn’t any pride, he wouldn’t be able to have any self confidence. Not with the suspicious looks other people casted his way. Being a Darcsen made him strong. But he felt weak and doubtful at the moment. He quickly gathered his shirt and glasses and headed back for his room.

On his way there, he was surprised to fall under Magari’s eyes. She was sitting next to a window, reading a book, or well, trying to read one, with the light of the moon lighting her pages. She heard his footsteps and looked up and Zeri felt so open and vulnerable that his first idea was to run away. But he just froze in place, blinking back tears from behind his glasses. The feel of Juliana’s lips on his was still so clear in his mind, he had the terrible impression talking to Magari would be like deceiving her.

She looked up and he lowered his head, afraid that she would be able to understand what he was thinking. She waited at first, but he stood still. So she got up and walked up to him, hiding the lower half of her face with her book.

"It's really late," she whispered.

He nodded, observing how her eyes took notice of his shirtless chest. He didn't know it, but there were small pink marks on the side of his neck and the top of his shoulders, where Juliana's nails had grazed his skin. Magari mostly noticed his trembling eyes that blinked far too much and the fact he was breathing a little too fast.

"You shouldn't stay out this late," he answered, as if the corridor could be filled with dangerous people. Magari shrugged her shoulders, slowly lowering her books.

"You look sad; as if you're about to cry," she observed.

"I… I'm fine," he lied, knowing that she'd see right through it.

She offered him her book, blushing slightly. He stared at her, confused.

"Here. If you want to hide. We're all humans, Zeri."

That almost made him crack, but he shook his head.

"I have to be stronger than that."

Her smile was really fragile, but she seemed bold in front of his own vulnerability.

"I know you're strong, and I won't doubt it. If you need to talk…"

She blushed, afraid that he would get mad at her for pretending that he could be needing her. But he did. He grabbed her wrist, gently, feeling clumsy and stupid and inappropriate. The shadows on the wall seemed too big and menacing.

"Let's go somewhere else, okay?"

She nodded, her fingers brushing against his and before that he knew it, they were holding hands. She kept her book to her chest, as if to protect herself, but Zeri had learned not to take it personally. It was just a habit she had.

"It's really hot tonight, huh?"

Even when she desperately tried to make small talk, she was cute and he felt ashamed for ever feeling attracted by someone else than her. Magari was perfect. Was he running back to safety? Was he being horrible to her by thinking the way he did? By feeling… at ease and at home around her.

"Is that why you couldn't sleep?" he asked.

"No. I was thinking too much. I went out to write a bit."

They were climbing the stairs, slowly due to the insufferable heat, their hands still linked together, like a promise.

"You write? Is it that book you have here?"

She blushed, but nodded, holding her book even closer. And he wanted to hold her, just to hold her and feel as safe as the book she was holding.

"What is it about?"

"Us. Darcsens, I mean." she quickly added, blushing furiously. " To clear up the name of our race. I want to write down what really happened in the past."

A smile crept on his face at that. He saw bits of himself hiding within her more and more. She was quite shy, but she was so much more…

"You'd let me look at it one day?"

"Of course, though, it's not much for now. I lack all the evidences."

"I have a dream that's a little like that. It's pretty childish, but… I convinced myself that if I could become a hero, in a war, as a soldier protecting Gallia, people would maybe start to accept us a little more."

He felt stupid as he said that. It was so presumptuous of him. But she didn't laugh and he was grateful for it. He could almost forget how empty he had felt just a moment ago. He glanced briefly at her, feeling her hand squeezing his fingers gently.

"Aren't you proud of that dream? You look so unsure." she observed.

"When did we become so casual?"

"I thought we were friends. Friends act casually together. Even me."

He smiled, feeling ashamed once again.

"I don't feel like myself. I doubt over so many things. I almost apologized for being what I am."

"So you met someone a moment ago. Was it… a date?"

Her voice died down and they found themselves on the rooftop, with the pool shimmering under the night sky. It felt easier to breathe outside.

"No. No it was a coincidence. I went to the kitchen and Juliana was already there."

Magari's hand left his and he understood that she couldn't be comprehensive anymore.

"I… We argued and for once, her words got to me."

"I have the impression her words have always been able to reach and hurt you."

He looked up, surprised, though he had to admit that she was right.

"Magari…"

She wasn't looking at him, staring down at her feet, her book held tight in her arms.

"What's up? You got rejected, so you're coming after me now?"

That shot met his already wounded heart head on. He winced, afraid that she could run away, but she stayed where she was.

"I don't want… I didn’t mean… Dammit.” He sighed, looking away. "I feel like I've already lost you."

Deep in her heart, Magari wanted to tell him it wasn’t too late. But she was hurting at the very thought he’d been with Juliana tonight, when she was thinking of him on her own.

… To be continued…


	8. Magari, the un-forgiving

_In his haste, he lost it,_

_and in his haste, he destroyed it._

_But in the end, **it** still survived._

_..._

_War heroes_

_Chapter 8 – Magari, the un-forgiving_

_He sighed, looking away. "I feel like I've already lost you."_

She looked up, surprised by the honesty she heard in his voice. He met her confused eyes. She wanted to ask when she had become his. But she already knew, as the rest of the class, that on the battlefield, she was his to protect. She couldn't let someone else close to him, when she hadn't the strength to get any closer. Magari had to assume her feelings. Getting to know Zeri had only make it more real in her mind, how much she wanted to be with him, how she wanted to know him better. And to keep him all to herself, like her favourite book, which would protect her from the outside world. But for that, she needed to face the outside world, so that she would be able to follow him around.

"I'll stay your friend, unless you really, really hurt me. But it's you who's hurt now. Whatever that girl said…"

"I kissed her… Or she kissed me, I don't know what happened, we were arguing, I wanted to make her pay, she seemed scared and… there was no way I could retaliate, but then again, I used some harsh words on her. It's as if her words and eyes weren't saying the same thing. At one point she was holding on to me and then she was back at being a snake…"

Magari had fallen silent and was looking really pale, even more with her flushed cheeks.

"Why… You don't have to tell me all that."

"I have to. It felt like betraying you for some reason. You're… I'm not good with words and feelings, but you've been on my mind all the time for the last few months. You really understand what I'm talking about, always. When I'm about to give up, I just need to take one look at you, and I find a reason to keep trying."

"I think I need to sit down." she answered.

Her book wasn't enough to defend herself and she felt weak in the knees. Zeri didn't feel pretty much better himself and they sat on the edge of the ceiling, against the small security board made of stones. Magari was just giving her profile to the view, as Zeri faced her entirely, hoping he wasn't blasting down his last chance.

With Juliana, he felt like hitting himself against a wall covered with threatening spikes already smeared with blood. She enraged him and always provoked him, as if to see whose pride would be smashed first. With Magari, he felt fulfilled and needed. She was compelling and quiet, just as he liked people to be. She could also be fierce, even if she was shy and closed off over herself. His heart was beating very fast as he realized why she was in his head even as he'd shared a kiss with Juliana. His mother had guessed right.

He needed Magari's smile. On the field of training, he liked feeling her eyes on him, like a warm blanket. He knew that she could really be proud of him and truly understood his line of thoughts. He liked her. More than that, he loved her. His eyes widened at the realization. Had he ruined everything?

"What about Juliana, Zeri? Don't you like her?"

"I don't know…"

"But you… you kissed her…"

"I was enraged at her. She thinks of me as if I was some trash, just because I can be labelled as a Darcsen. I thought that if I could get her to change her mind, I could change anyone else, but I couldn't… She actually made me feel bad for being a Darcsen!"

"That's because her opinion matters to you…"

"No!"

She quivered in front of his sudden outburst and he looked down at his hands, raising one of his knee and crossing his arms over it. He looked so unsure that Magari felt a violent resentment towards Juliana.

"I'm sorry. I don't want it to matter. She's so freaking brilliant, and still so close minded," he stated

"And where's my part in this? Does my opinion even matter to you, or since I'm also a Darcsen…"

"It matters the most… Because I failed you from the beginning."

She blushed once more, realizing he was referring to that ordeal in the woods for the nth time.

"I don't need your pity. I can protect myself, I killed people too and I'm stronger than I look."

"I know. I'm next to you every time you pull the trigger. I see you backing all of us up. I see you rushing to our wounded, even though you're scared. I see you treating even those that can't look at you because they loathe Darcsens. I don't pity you, Magari. I'm pretty selfish. Ever since I saw those guys hurting you, I thought that maybe I could erase what they had done. But I was afraid… Because I'm like any other guy."

She pushed her book between his arms, shaking her head in disagreement.

"You're totally different from any other guys. Otherwise… You're honest and wise. You're just young and confused, as I am."

He looked up, surprised to be met with the fierce Magari he rarely had a chance to see. He still felt like crying, but he wasn't sure why anymore. Because he had hurt her, because he hadn’t been wise enough to understand his own feelings? One thing was clear, he couldn't shed his tears now. It would be too selfish.

"Then what do you think? What should we do?"

She seemed ready to back away, but he held her hands so that she would stay like this. She didn't flinch, but shivered at the idea of saying how she really felt like.

"I'm scared, Zeri." and it took all he had in him not to pull her in a hug.

"You don't have to hide," he replied as he saw her lowering her head to let her hair cover her face. "I can't hide myself."

"You're sure you don't like Juliana?"

He knew the very subject was hurting her. He sat properly, holding her hands tighter.

"I’ve been a fool about this. But there’s one thing that I know. I can entrust my life to you, Magari. I wouldn't trust anyone else from the school like that. And there's no one I want to protect as much as you."

Magari felt mortified as she slowly understood that her feelings were shared. It meant facing so much more unknown. She fought with herself before to raise one hand and to run it across Zeri's face and even to remove his glasses. There was still pain in his dark eyes.

"I wish… I could also protect you from their words. I know how it hurts, to be cast away and punished for something you haven't done."

He felt even more vulnerable under her touch and he couldn't hold anything back anymore. He held her closer, even if she gasped from sheer shock at first, so that he could hug her to his heart and hide his pain from her.

"I've never…"

"You look good without the glasses too."

"Magari, will you… can we…" He was at a loss of words.

"Even if she understood you, you wouldn't go after her, would you? Where's your heart? I need this to be for real. Even if I trust Darcsen more easily, I…"

"I'll entrust it to you. Everything. I…you're my comrade and saviour."

She held him back, shyly, her hands like feathers on his back.

"You're praising me too much. And you’re evading my question. If Juliana was a Darcsen like us…"

The thought scared him. Somehow, everything would be different in such a world, but Juliana wasn’t a darcsen and even if she did understand, even if she accepted him, would it be safe for his heart? He remembered the feel of her voice as she shot her venom at him. Her nails on his skin. How she’d grab him. Mere need. Not enough care to walk over her pride and even mutter his name once. Calling him a dog but still forcing him into a kiss because he was a good-looking dog.

He had been looking after Magari all those weeks. He had been loathing the guys staring at her and thanking god for Renée who looked after her and protected her when he couldn’t. Tomorrow, they’d fight Class A and everything that Juliana was standing for. And the idea of turning his flamethrower on the pink haired girl made his stomach twist. But the idea of Magari being slashed by Juliana’s sword and words. He wasn’t looking for his mother with that blue-haired girl. It was different. It was another kind of dream.

 _I don’t need to give up on my race to become an example that would redeem us,_ he thought.

At the same time, he didn’t want to be with Magari because it served his lifelong dream. He wanted to be with her because she was a mystery in many ways, because while she was hiding, she was also working in her own way on a dream that rang true with his. She wanted the hate to stop. She never retaliated. She…

“Then I might never have noticed her. But I had noticed you, even before the forest. You didn’t have to yell or to act condescending. You were simply yourself, lost in your books…”

She blushed an awful lot, backing away in his embrace to get a look at him, even though it meant she would be exposed.

“What did you see then, a frail little thing to make you feel manly?” she asked, sounding bitter.

She knew why most of the guys were looking for when they came after her. She remembered what had happened to her sister. Zeri shook his head, stroking her velvet hair, almost crushing her in his arms.

“I saw a girl who’d been hurt and didn’t want to be hurt again. I also saw a girl who was fighting someone else’s war, despite the fact it put her at risk.”

“So I’m no consolation prize?”

He was ashamed that she had to ask, but then again, he had been kissing Juliana a few moments ago and told Magari about it. He sighed deeply.

“How can I convince you that you’re not? I dug myself in pretty deep.”

She laughed, softly, sweetly, her hands linking behind his back as her cheeks stroked his chest.

“Keep holding me, Zeri.”

It seemed he was forgiven and the relief he felt made his heart sore through his chest.

"You have no idea, no idea how much I need you." He whispered.

 _I had no idea myself_ , he thought to himself. She was shivering in his arms. He was trembling. Right now, holding each other like this was enough. Anything more would have meant crossing the line. But reality came back.

"What if… what if the girl that thought…"

"I won't let her hurt you. I won't let anyone lay even a finger on you."

And she shivered again, feeling how possessive he already was. She didn't mind it at all. She also needed him. He would be her human book. She would be his determination and confident, since he trusted her, while she had been so sure that he couldn't trust anyone.

"Zeri, lean the pain down on me, alright? I won't let you down."

The words still echoed from very far. You Darcsen, filthy, dirty. Dog. Zeri knew they would be judged. Darcsen assembling was a good chance for predators. But he felt stronger with Magari. He couldn't feel dirty or ashamed if he had her approval. The other guys would be jealous, but he didn't care.

The night felt refreshing suddenly. It was hard to remember anything that happened before it. Even the terrible battle they had fought with the rest of their classmates. He hid his face in her hair, trying to understand his heart. Something within had wanted Juliana's approval and it had been denied for the last time. Magari was all he wanted, all he really needed. She would never be a mean to fulfill his dream, she wasn't an opportunity, or even a second choice. She was a person. The person he loved. It was almost painful.

She cried in his arms, too scared and too happy to hold her emotion in check. All that felt overwhelming.

"Shouldn't we hide?" she asked him, as they hugged each other, snuggling up close.

"There's no shame in being together and we're not guilty of anything. We won't hide and if you want to hide, you'll do so in my arms, ok?"

"Kay," she replied with a soft smile.

…

On the next day, Zeri wondered if it had all been a dream. But as he was met by Magari's eyes when he walked back in the classroom, he knew that it was real. Her dark blue iris were shining with stars that hadn’t been there the other day. And he felt sheer happiness. He had to stay focused, but things were looking up. And then he remembered that they were going to fight against Juliana's class for the leviathan cup. Dread filled him as he suited up for the match.

Avan gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“You look tense man, cheer up, we’re winning this.”

“I know, Hardins. Make sure you have enough back-up ammos.”

A dozen minutes later, they were on the field. Practice bullets flew through the air, but the fencers’ swords were real. Magari was everywhere at once, Zeri barely managing to follow her, as he covered the rear and looked for any hidden cadet that could try to claim their base. When she walked upon her molesters, the young girl froze. Her face turned white and the boys didn’t bother firing at her, calling her names instead.

Avan was busy capturing a base to get closer to Juliana’s main camp, calling reinforcement. Zeri heard a familiar voice crying out in fear around the corner, followed by five gunshots. He hadn’t hone his skills to see a difference between the many guns issued by the academy, but he could tell Magari’s voice apart from anyone else in a heartbeat.

He ran to find something he hadn’t expected. Magari was holding her gun up, her molesters lying on the ground, knocked out by perfect blows. Quickly scanning the perimeter, Zeri determined that there was nobody left around the place. He ran up to her, to be met by the cannon of her gun as she swung around.

“Mag, it’s…”

“I shouldn’t have shot them.” She whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. She lowered her weapon, but took a step back as he got closer.

“It’s part of the exercise.” He gently reminded her.

“It’s… I retaliated.”

She looked quite shaken and he couldn’t help but recognize the boys on the ground. She was certainly back in the forest, back in the hurt and the pain and… He wanted to hold her in his arms, but it wasn’t the place or the time.

“If it isn’t the Darcsens, assembling to meet their doom.”

That sounded an awful lot like Juliana. Gritting his teeth, he looked over his shoulders, hearing Magari shuddering behind him.

“Did we already reach your main base?” Zeri taunted.

“Only the first…” Magari whispered in his back.

He wasn’t forgiven yet it seemed. Both teenagers were shell-shocked by the wise crack and the reminder of their recent exchange. Juliana raised her sword, eyes aflame with anger.

“Have you been… How dare you…?! Poor bastar…”

Zeri raised his flamethrower, wishing he could take a second to turn back towards the smaller Darcsen and know what she was thinking. Her gun fired at Juliana’s feet, effectively shutting her up, while Magari took two steps forward, standing shoulder to shoulder with him.

“If you’re at a loss of words, keep it down.” The raven-haired girl declared. “We’re two squads fighting for a stupid trophy. I don’t want this to turn ugly.”

“You would threaten me? Poor little bitch. The spirit of revanche is going up to your brain.”

“Don’t you talk to her this way!” Zeri roared back.

Gunshots rung behind Juliana, one training bullet grazing her waist and Avan jumped over a line of sandbags, followed closely by Cosette and Reiner.

“Zeri, Magari, support fire!” their class leader ordered.

Juliana sprung forward, sword lashing out and Zeri acted without thinking, pushing Magari away from the attack, his flamethrower bursting into flames, forcing the Class A heiress to back away, a few strands of pink hair fuming. This wasn’t the time to bicker with words. They were fighting for their class, not only for their own ego.

Juliana proved to be a formidable opponent, Avan having to duck to the ground to avoid her sword a dozen time, Cosette jumping back and Reiner using three anti-tank shot on her while the others kept firing. There were a few bruises on her face, but she still managed to break Reiner’s arm, slap Cosette hard enough to cause her a light commotion and regroup some of her own soldiers.

The girl had presence and knew how to fight. Zeri was starting to wonder where she hid her muscles, while Magari had her hands full with trying to fix their comrades.

“Nichols, are you set yet?” Avan asked in his commlink.

“I shot her twice, her armor seems to be made out of something special.”

Zeri dodged her sword, grunting as he dropped his empty flamethrower, his machine gun already raised. His ears were ringing from all the gunshots around them. You’d think Juliana was manning a tank, not simply fencing left and right.

“Aim for her legs!” Renée suggested.

If any of them knew what Juliana had been through to last through that much fire power, they might have been able to save her then. Class’ A leader collapsed under their collective fire, Randy surprising everyone by catching her up before that her head hit the ground. Zeri felt Magari’s eyes on him, turning on himself to locate her. His throat was dry and too tight as he swallowed, daring to meet her stare.

Her eyes darted in Juliana’s direction, as though to ask him whether he wanted to check on her, but Zeri shook his head “no”. His heart had decided before his head could catch up. There was no fragile smile on her pale face, Magari’s shoulders sagging in relief.

As they walked away from the battlefield, both Darcsen fell into steps.

“I’m sorry,” she said before he’d opened his mouth. “I shouldn’t retaliate, but I couldn’t stand it…”

“I should be the one apologizing. For putting you through this and… those guys…”

Her lips were pinched together and a shiver ran through her.

“I felt so much rage inside when I heard them calling me names. When Juliana did, I felt nothing, but the look in their eyes…”

He made a gesture towards her, to which she stepped to the side, keeping the distance between them.

“I hate seeing you like this.”

“I hate feeling like this. But if you comfort me now, it would just validate what I did.”

“Mag, this was… this was a practice battle. Taking up arms doesn’t mean we’re retaliating.”

And she knew he was right. It just felt incredibly hard to be at peace with the rage and hatred suddenly leaping from her heart when she’d seen them. It wasn’t until they got out of their respective locker rooms that Magari accepted to let him closer to her. They went to the library, not caring if people saw them walking side by side. They didn’t talk much until she’d found the history alley, all the way in the back. They both knew their people history had been written out of every textbook, but it was a quieter spot of the library. She turned to him, her usual book held close to her chest, her hair still damp from the shower.

“I don’t want to feel this scared anymore.”

“What can I do to help?”

A light blush covered her cheeks and she pushed herself to say the words out loud:

“Hold me?”

It was no more than a murmur, but he was too happy to oblige, especially when he realized she’d put her book on a nearby shelf, letting him in. Her breath against his neck was welcome, even if it shattered and shuddered as she held him back. Zeri pulled her as close as he dared, hearing her apologize for how jealous she’d sounded back there.

“I won’t give you any reason to be in the future.” He promised.

“And I won’t hold you back.” She voiced solemnly.

Magari was referring to his dream. She worried about him so much, he felt quite undeserving of holding her quivering frame.

“Maybe you should. I could get used to your arms around me.”

To be continued…


End file.
